Intimidating Cook Top

Yep. I was bullied by the new, shiny, black Kenmore Elite recently installed in our kitchen.

I feel like all of you are members of my support group, currently sitting in metal fold-up chairs arranged in a circle. Ready to say, "Hi, Julie!" when I stand to introduce myself and clap when I publicly state my problem: I am scared of my cook top.

Doomed to fail from the start after reading the direction manual. DO NOT USE ANY PAN THAT DOES NOT FIT PROPERLY IN ONE OF THE CIRCLES ON YOUR COOK TOP. ALL POTS AND PANS MUST SIT ABSOLUTELY FLUSH ON THE SURFACE. MAKE SURE THE HANDLES ARE PROPERLY POSITIONED. CLEANING IS ESSENTIAL AFTER EACH USE. DO NOT DROP ANYTHING ON TO THE SURFACE AS MULTIPLE BREAKS MAY OCCUR."

I felt as if I had been lectured, rather loudly, and promptly smacked on the knuckles with a ruler by the time I had finished the last page.

Took me three days to finally boil a pot of water for my tea.

A Fractured-Kind-Of-Day

Ever have that kind? Where you feel pulled one way then another AND, on top of those, a third? You have all these 'things' you want to get done and just wish you had the time RIGHT NOW to do them once and for all? (the spectres of extreme agitation and overwhelming frustration hover very near....)

My list includes things like weeding out my recipe shelf; going thru the TALL stack of brochures we collected in JANUARY at a vacation and travel show; check out the intriguing websites I've torn out of magazines/hastily scribbled down; write more chapters for my books; actually finish a manuscript and work to get it published; call friends I need to catch up with; spend more quality time with my husband; and my family; clean out my files in the file cabinet. (You get the picture, I know, because you have one, too, don't ya?)

Part of my problem is I need to simply let go of 1/3 of them. They are not as important as I brainwash myself to believe they are. Done. Check

This evening I spent an hour and a half waiting for my car to be serviced. I took some work from my job that I have been carrying back and forth between my desk and home for over a week and got it done. A WEEK. What is my problem?? All finished. Check.

So. My mid-year resolution is to scratch off the unnecessary, the superfluous, the waste-of-timers. Focus my energy on getting a few done well. My hand is now reaching for the ON button of the CD player -- a little relaxation music, please, while I start making a MUCH shorter, fresh list of high priorities. And the first item at the very top of the list? "NO MORE LISTS!!!!!"

Finding YOUR 'Paris'

Yesterday my husband and I saw Midnight in Paris. This is the story of a man valiantly trying to swim against the tide of his everyday existence, a place of personal discontment where his life and choices have led him. Yet there is an innate yearning residing just under his skin which burns in his soul. His whole being comes ALIVE in Paris and he realizes that he has found the city of his dreams. His restless spirit has found its home.

We all seek that specific 'something' that burns perpetually in our own core. Causes stomachs to flutter with anticipation and need. Mine is to write, to share the stories thriving between my ears which no one else can 'hear' right now. I would love to be published --sooner than later if I had my wish! It's the invisible drive that lurks right below my surface. Finding the time not allotted for other responsibilities, duties and drudgeries, where guilt can't sink its talons into me, is what propels me on many a day. I live with a mixture of unadulterated happiness when I do write and anxious desperation when I don't. The imbalance is distracting.....yet challenging.

Thus I have become quite resourceful in hoarding clusters of minutes where I can open my laptop or notebook to extract the conversations and drama, humor and emotions bubbling in my mind -- much like Dumbledore pulling out his thoughts and preserving each in his pensieve.

When my opportunity arrives, I hope all of you are with me to enjoy the ride! And my wish for all of you? Recognize, grasp, follow the path where your heart leads. Be tenacious. BE BOLD. Allow the embers to become a blaze and find your fulfillment. Perhaps Paris will be your destination as well.....