Thursday, June 12, 2008

Endora, Cleopatra and the Duchess of Windsor

I know what you're thinking. What the heck do these three women have in common??? (Hear that lilting Sesame Street tune skimming through your mind...."which of these things belong together?"...) I would be more than happy to answer that question for you!

Eyeliner. Yep. Eyeliner. In my humble, but accurate, opinion one of the greatest inventions of all time. Why, you ask? Let me enlighten you. I know you'll agree.

First, let's examine Endora. Agnes Moorehead played that fabulous character. Her eyeliner was applied so that when she would raise her eyebrow while delivering an insulting comment to "Darwood" (in her dripping, condescending tone) that upswept line of black accentuated the disdain for her son-in-law in a totally nonverbal fashion. (C'mon. You know you've wanted to intimidate someone at some point in your life with just one look. Yea, you have.) Loved it.

Then there was Elizabeth Taylor. Whether she was playing the femme fatale in film or on the stage or whether she was marrying her sixth (or was it seventh??) husband, eyeliner was always her best friend. Picture her in her role as Cleopatra opposite Richard Burton. Sexy, sassy, feminine. I'm telling you the eyeliner is what put her over the top. Men fell at her feet. (And she has the jewels to prove it,too.) Right??!?

Last,but not least, is the Duchess. Now there was a determined woman. Check out photos of her and the Duke on their wedding day in 1937. Whoa. Must have been her personality that won him over. Not so much the face. But flash forward to the late 60's. Yep, she discovered the miracle of eyeliner and it was worth a double take. No longer did the camera lens capture a woman who needed a makeover. Sophisticated, sharp, lovely.

So there are my examples and I believe I have proven my theoretical hypothesis beyond a shadow of a doubt. Without eyeliner this world would be a very different place.