Monday, April 27, 2009

Not-So-Good-For-You Secret Pleasures

We all have habits that make us feel good. Mine are chocolate, Pepsi, and romantic historical novels. The first two are just fine if done in moderation. ** a little off the subject, perhaps, but an insightful sidebar: I get a kick out of the nurses at my family doctor's office. Whenever you go for an appointment --whether it is your lenthy annual physical or simply to pick up prescription renewal -- they have you stand on the scales, check your blood pressure and take your pulse. Then they go over the permanant details that are written down on your record -- "Do you still take a multivitamin, a B-complex, and Calcium everyday? ("Yes.") Drink alcohol at a minimum?("About two drinks a year.") Have one Pepsi everyday? ( I lower my voice and respond in a conspiritor tone: "Sometimes, just on a rare occasion, I even have two.")

So what do you think their reaction would be to my lunchtime reading material? Maybe I should bring it up. That would throw them a curve, huh! Can't you just imagine their faces? They'd turn to look at me just to see how sincere I was about that huge revelation. They would see me smiling and nodding my head up and down, realizing I was not being facitious. Their reaction would be reflected in their shocked expressions: What??!? She reads novels. Then they'd raise their voices and scream: AHHHHH!!!! DIAL 911!!!! CALL THE SQUAD!!!!! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY HERE!!!!!

Ok, I'll pull myself back on task here. On the flip side of the above we all have one or two favorite pasttimes or pleasures that either are not safe or not healthy for our bodies...or for the longevity of our life for that matter. But you have to promise not to tell my dermatologist before I reveal the secret I'm about to tell you. Not only is she a great doc but she is also a very good friend and she would absolutely KILL ME if she knew this. Mine...are you ready? You sure?

Mine is the tanning booth. There! It is finally out in the open. Whew! I love to rub the cocoanut-fragranced lotion on my arms and legs. Then I turn the radio to some station that plays current pop music -- the kind you play at the pool when you're laying out. Next I lay down on the bed and let the lights make me feel like I'm on the beach somewhere faraway. It's my "Take me away Calgon" minutes. I feel myself exhale. My body totally relaxes. I let my mind wander to warmer climes and palm trees and little paper umbrellas topping off delicious fruity beverages.

Wow. Did that feel good or what? Sharing something I've kept bottled up inside for years is pure relief. Now I don't want you to think I'm "hooked" on this terrible-for-your-skin machine. That last time I was actually in a booth? Over two years ago. Maybe I should go to a support group for these long lulls in between my sessions. TBUA: Tanning Booth Users Anonymous. Known as "Taboo" for short. All right. All right. I know this entity doesn't exist. Maybe it should. I think my coined name is darn cute. Don't you?