The Bathroom Wall

Yesterday afternoon found my mind revisiting a situation that happened to me two years ago. Totally out of the blue this woman burst back into my mind, wrapped up in all the pent-up, frustration of what I DIDN"T say to her then. Boy, I sure wish I had verbally layed her out standing there in that beautiful, tropical hotel lobby when I had THE perfect chance, with me having every right on the planet to be as furious as I was. (Rats. I hate it when I am mature and act like a lady. )

All of a sudden this incredible dialogue eloquently listing all of her indiscretions came flowing out of my mouth. Literally. Out loud. The phrasing, my voice modulation, the subtle use of emotion. Man, I was so smooooooth. Proud of myself? Absolutely. Eloquent? Better than Lincoln. And my audience? Thoroughly appreciative. Awestruck would be an even more descriptive term.

My performance was ever so persuasive with just the right touch of emotion quietly punctuating my masterful presentation.....especially when heard by the best friend a girl could have. The perfect listener and critic. The bathroom wall.

The same confidante that has been there for me through thick and thin, good and bad. Always sympathetic, forever on my side. Never has it betrayed me. Never has it let on to all of the secrets it has heard. Oh, the stories it could repeat, the juicy blackmail material. I am ever so grateful that it cannot.

I Feel So Empowered!

Three days ago I was taught by my child to burn CD's.

1. Talk about feeling "smarter"!
2. Thrilled to be able to quit asking someone else.
3. Can do it whenever I want -- anytime, anyplace.
4. Woo-Hoo!!!
5. Mama is very cool now!
6. Lookout World -- the CD Queen is on the scene!
7. Knowledge is power. And I am loving it!
8. I'm on to the next project on my list.
9. No, I'm not telling you what it is.
10.You be hearing all about it later.
11. You can count on that!

Thanks for putting up with my smugness. And between you and me? It feels really, really good.

Can You Smell It Yet?

On the days that belong to the winter-turning-to-spring cusp, I have a secret passion. I crack open one or two the house windows and, slowly, fill my lungs with the anticpated, treasured promises that are beginning to arrive. Inhaling all of those wonderfully rich fragrances dancing just outside the glass pane, I am renewed.

Like the sweet scent of the quietly unfurling daffodils, curling back their tender green coats to bare the fragile buds within. (breathe deeply...ahhh. Heaven) . Or catch a whiff of newly mown grass as flows through the neighborhood, weaving an invisible path between the cluster of houses. To close my eyes and sense the light breeze as its tendrils slip through the screen to tease my skin. And maybe, just maybe, I catch a tangy hint of a sea breeze swirling in this recipe of richness that nature alone can provide.

To hear the silently whispered message heralding the anticipated change of seasons that has once again begun. To greet with a faint smile these blessings which I embrace gratefully. To find soulful pleasure in gifts so freely given. To me? That is the core essence of luxury. The true definition of priceless.

Plays Well With Others

aka: Annual Job Review. I have to admit these are NOT my favorite boss-to-employee meetings. How politically incorrect of me. In other words let me be perfectly clear: I hated them. I especially dreaded the ones at an establishment where I was employed earlier in my career. Never any fun. Always began on the "you do this very well.....blah blah blah...". Then WHAM!!?@##* you got your feet knocked right out from under you with this unending list of stuff that not only erased all the good stuff they said about you but made you want to grab your jacket and head home to eat comfort food and read a good book. For about a month. No kidding. I felt like I was back in the third grade reading my report card where the teacher made her comments like "very bright" and "her grades are at the top of the class" followed by "has lots of creativity--perhaps she needs to have an outlet where she could express her artistic ability away from the classroom" or "is just a little bit bossy"or "likes to talk during quiet periods". UGH.

During the above mentioned employment period a sweatshirt I found in a catalog. It was black with white lettering that summed it all up better than I ever could verbally express my true opinion blending my fond remembrances of my elementary days plus the belittling I felt exposed to yearly. PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS When I spied that on the glossy pages of their offerings I pounced right on that baby. Whatever I had written down as my number one gift idea just had become my number two choice. Talk about perfect!!

And guess what?? I got my wish! One of the boxes I unwrapped under the tree that year was the real deal and I wore that piece of clothing with pride. Because you know what?? I did play well with others then and I still do now. There was also another sweatshirt shown on the same page that read Runs With Scissors and I felt a bond with that sentiment as well. Heavens!! Who ever would do that??! ( a sharp collective intake of breath could be heard in the silent conference room reflecting the review board's shock at such outlandish behavior ).

Who? Perhaps "Guess Who?" would be more appropriate....hmmmm?

THINK and SHOULD are Four-Letter words

In the last year my husband has pointed out that I use these two words often. Too often. His point is that I do alot of mulling over different topics important to our lives that I keep to myself. Then when pressed I will say, "I was thinking...." or "I think about it...." or "I should have done that..." or "we should be thinking about this...".

One personality trait that I so much admire in him is that he is always verbally communicating, constantly seeking change to make a situation or the future better. He is a fantastic problem solver and manages workplace and home challenges with logic and foresight.

I am really trying to become more pro-active and talkative about not only everyday-like stuff decisions but those which will potentially change the course of our life experience together. I have always been quietly independent and more emotional than he. Not crazy emotional with crying and moodiness and demands. Just more choices made from my heart, not necessarily my head. These years of marriage have become a special gift waiting to be opened. And I am finally getting around to removing the ribbon, ripping the paper off , with the tingling- of-butterflies-anticipation which comes from knowing the gift held inside the box. I treasure his partnership, his advice. Learning and absorbing what I can learn from his temperment and life balance.

What advice can I give you? Share. Talk. Use specific examples. Voice your fears. Your joys. Question whatever you think you should. Listen. Learn. Ask for opinions. Offer choice. Seek change. Decide for yourself. For your family. And, above all, let your love be heard in your words, your actions. Be true to yourself. Never sell what you have to say short. You count.

Inventions -- Why Didn't I Think of That??

We've all had those thoughts. Man, why didn't I think of Ziplock bags?? How great are those!! And Liquid Paper or now the new correction tape in the hand-held roller applicator. Think of all the money I'd have?!??

What about panty hose. Sticky notes. Pam cooking spray. Little moist towelettes folded up in a pocket-sized package. Zippers. Hand sanitizer (no soap and water needed anymore). Gift bags. Pre-made gift bows. Anything that makes life easier.

The newest one that totally impressed me was one I noticed on countertop signage at the pharmacy counter in the neighborhood drug store. Flavors you get to choose to add to liquid medications. Grape, cherry, orange. How clever is that?? Personalized. Smart. Logical. Love it!

Every once in a while I'll be doing something and think of a product or item that I think would be an excellent contender for world-wide distribution. But the realization of all the layers I would have to go through to get something on the market...and the money involved to produce it...just stops me cold.

But, hey, that ingenius idea is one more item on my lifelist that makes me extra-special, right? Keeps those wheels moving and the mind sharp. Yeah, right. Some other person will manufacture that and become a millionaire. But I thought of it first!!!! Yes, I did!!!!!

The Dictionery -- Woo-Hoo!!!

Annually they (the Word Committee??) come out with the list of words being eliminated from Websters and those which will henceforth be included. Were you aware of this annual process? Must admit I did not until three years ago when I was driving around town taking care of some errands and happened to catch a news bite on the car radio. You should have heard me responding -- yes, out loud directing my opinion looking straight at the dials as if those plastic gadgets were representatives of the esteemed selection board-- to the vernacular that had been selected to enter this esteemed tome. Most sounded like slang and street talk straight out of a Will Smith movie.

Who are these people anyway?? All I can tell you is that I have NO idea but I am nominating author John Jakes as a member. Have you read any of his books? The Civil War trilogy which begins with NORTH and SOUTH is fabulous.. When I finished the last book, HEAVEN and HELL, I felt bereft from the void created by the departure of the characters from my life. I missed them and I wanted a fourth book ...and a fifth! (True sign of a great book (s). Right?)And all the while I was ensconced in his rich story line, I have found myself being st-ret-ch-ed with his skilled syntax. How fantastic is that??

Charleston, published in 2002, is my current read. Within the first two chapters I found myself reaching for my dictionery in order to make sure I was either A: understanding a word concluded from its usage or from the surrounding words/action in that sentence or B: acknowledging that I had NO CLUE whatsoever thus I needed to do my due diligence in research and check to see if my stab in the dark was anywhere close to the truth. Words like "scrofulous" and "puncheons" and "embrasure". Aren't those wonderful?? Absolutely fascinating.

Go ahead. Look those up. I'm not going to provide the answers for you. Be curious. Be challenged like I was. (Ok, ok. I figured out what the second was from its sentance use and the third you can guess at....but the first??? No way.) Language should be beautiful. We all need to hone the craft of molding our personal verbal and written speech with specific descriptive, emotional, and intelligent strokes of purpose and definition. Here's one for you -- expurgate. Try saying that fast ten times then check out that little nine letter word. Use that in a sentance today. Watch people's eyebrows draw together with a look of puzzlement as they ponder that one!!!

And, one more detail....I love my Websters Deluxe College Edition Dictionery. Revised in 1972. Can't get me to accept a newer version. Others have tried to persuade. Even demand. But no sirree bob. I will keep my black duct taped navy faux leather bound volume, thank you very much. Don't even waste your time trying 'cause this is my edition I'm stickin' to it.

A Comparison

I was sitting in church and during his sermon the minister spoke of the Ark of the Covenant. And I started to think of what that gold sheathed wooden box was specifically crafted to hold according to God's word. Sitting here typing words to try and describe the indescribable contents is impossible. The "most awesome", "beyond wondrous", "blinding" ..... none of these captures the priceless, heavenly created gift inside. The Ten Commandments. All descriptive terms are inane. Fall incredibly short.

Over the past two weeks I have really pondered that theme of the housing of irreplacables. I came up with a comparison --albeit a poor one -- that exists in my life. My home is like an ark. It contains my most precious treasures. Most importantly the Spirit of the Lord. Secondly, my family. All the other "stuff" doesn't matter. The Lord blesses us for being true true believers and charges that we spread His word. So all of the material goods that we collect are given by Him. He makes all things possible.

Priorities are remembrances of what we choose to be the important guidelines in our life on this planet. We get bogged down with the school functions and the doctor appointments and the grocery shopping and the house cleaning and the deadlines and the mending and the laundry and the eating right and the meal prep and the ironing and the errands and. And... And...

So remind yourself daily what your home truly contains. Your number one priority. Be forever mindful, and grateful, of that joyous, loving Spirit who dwells with you and surrounds all of your hearts with love and guidance and incredible freedom. Now, you can love and appreciate and dutifully dust the art that hangs on your walls...just realize it is not necessary in your ark.