And What About Squeezed-Up Sleeves??

Still building on that very tempting 'grab-the-brass-ring-grant-idea' I have a second area of study. I personally cannot stand loose, baggy cuffs around my wrists. Can you? Sweaters, blouses, T-shirts, jackets, whatever. Anything long-sleeved MUST fit nice and snug.

Thus most of my clothes get pushed up my arms to bunch around my elbows either due to age of the garment (loss of elasticity in the material) or its construction. Kind of gives me that cool preppy look and gets that sloppy material out of my way. In fact as I type this entry my sweatshirt cuffs were folded back once before I shoved them up my forearms. Hint: that fold makes a secured band for the weight of the material to rest against so it doesn't fall or collapse back down as quickly. Kind of a physical anti-gravity thing. If only my high school physics teacher Mr. Drinkhouse could see me now. He would be so proud. (psst - back up NOW coz the lightening bolt is on its way.)

Wow. Come to think of it this phenomenon could turn into a two-fold study. On the one hand a sociological one of the demographic kind and on the other a psychological one where we analyzed any phobias or personal issues which may have caused this trait tot begin with in the first place. You know. Like this could be a symptom of rebelling against the establishment rules such as having-to-always-having-to-keep-your-room-clean-while-growing-up or those 'you-must-be-clean-plater' statements made nightly at the supper table. That kind of stuff. OH! OH! And what if it went full circle, so to speak, where these findings and statistics fed back into the Loud Night Noise Study shedding even more light on possible causes of that condition. I don't know about you but my mind is just being blown away by what this all could mean for the entire world-at-large. And possibly...just possibly...there might be a Presidential Medal of Honor for Contributions to the Betterment of Mankind waiting out there for me when all these findings are published and hailed as 'brilliant' and 'enlightening'. Perhaps even 'unparalleled'. (bravo, mes amis! caught my tongue in cheek tone, have you?)

Seems to me this calls for TWO different grant applications. Let's do the math: Two studies. Twice the money. Thus the real issue is why the heck am I sitting here typing on this keyboard when I could be raking in the BIG bucks...and building a trophy case for all the fancy hardware bound to come this way. I just love hand engraving, don't you?

Federal Grants

We hear or read about the 'odd' or preposterous ones every now and again. The nightly news loves these kinds of exposes. The print media provides a list to make us shudder. We shake our heads at the theme or theory or product given thousands of dollars for research or testing. But we don't do anything about the waste. At least I'll own up. I don't.

After writing yesterday's post I was inspired. I should be filling out the required application paper work right this very minute to receive some of this pot of available money. Why not? Somebody else out there did the submission and consequently received a big, fat check. Maybe I'll just jump on the old lucrative gravy-train.

With my windfall I could outfit a lab to do brain wave testing crossing over every demographic category and testing all sorts of people to trace and audio record brain transmissions as the participants fall asleep. Male. Female. Age. Race. Location of home. Location of job. Color of eyes. Color of hair. Height. Weight. What they ate for dinner. Favorite snack. Coffee or tea. Straight up or decaffeinated. The music they listen to. The movies they watch. Favorite color. Leather watch strap or metal bracelet. Over or under toilet paper. Stilettos or flats. Hershey bars with or without almonds. Maybe my staff and I would discover some unknown brain 'thing' in charge of night time activity which directly impacts the volume of that activity. I'm not sure but maybe we could win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. (Seems highly possible and probable to moi after last week's winner. Plus I could donate my million to charity as well and avoid any angst my husband might have --see my 11.22.08 entry.)

What? You say this is nuts. Really. No, really? I'm merely considering the security of long-term employment. All of the multitude of possible contributing factors ~ wacky and logical alike ~are positively endless. My research could go on and on and on and..... Forever! I'm set!! Won't ever have to worry about economy fluctuations or outsourcing. Maybe the lab would even evolve into a popular TV reality show. Wow. A Nobel Prize AND an Emmy. Could I ask for anything more??!

And I would look very cute and quite official, I might add, in a little white lab coat. So-o-o my color.