Monday, October 13, 2008

The Underwear Drawer

Do you have a secret place where you tuck things away from all the other eyes and hands in your house? You know....like the ten dollars you received for your birthday...or the package of M&M's you shouldn't have bought...or the credit card receipt for those very expensive jeans you really weren't supposed to get on this month's budget....wonderful goodies like those.

Come on. Admit it. We've all stashed away a few things in our lifetime. When the time is right these items "appear" Very Very quietly in the realm of the light of day. And when your husband notices the new top several weeks down the road you can honestly say, "Honey, I have had this for a while now" and feel totally justified. *(In my case it is usually my son who vocalizes his observation and that generally grabs my husband's attention so quick it makes your head spin! I gotta tell you my quiet, smooth introduction is much more manageable and, ok let's be honest, sly.)

My personal choice for years has been my underwear drawer. No real reason for anyone to snoop there because who wants to get into Mom's chest of drawers where all that girlie stuff is. On the whole it's been a pretty safe spot. Now think about your own home and I'm sure you can picture some very obtuse hiding spots perfect for you.(Psst!! -- like where you keep Christmas wrapping paper and bows. And there's the picnic basket downstairs on the dusty basement shelf. Or how 'bout in the kitchen-- in the corner- in the back-in the dark behind the pressure cooker and the cheese domes?) Well, maybe those are not easily accessible for quickly poked (and retrieved) goodies. Guess you're on your own to figure the choicest ones for your purposes.

I must admit that after 30 years I am hiding less. Makes life easier if you just talk about your intended purchase. For years I would ask for forgiveness (bypassing the "permission" part) by pleading my case with the admission that insanity completely overwhelmed my usual good sense and MADE me buy it. As well you know, DISCIPLINE is my middle name and my other half always sympathized with the crippling urge that overtook my brain like some mind-bending alien at the checkout counter and caused me to act so out of character.

You laughing yet or just waiting for the lightening to strike...better stand back. No, really. Take my advice. Stand back. Watch out!!!!!!!!!!! (Flash of blinding light!! Eardrum splitting cccrrack!!! Smell of acrid smoke....) Well, now, now. Don't get all upset. I told you to protect yourself. So maybe the next time you'll listen .... and your eyebrows won't get singed.