A very funny gentleman I know was talking about age during our last conversation. He recently had both knees replaced. We were sharing how time passes quickly and that the body changes without any warning. This big smile grew on his face and his eyes twinkled as his hands pointed toward his chest when he laughingly said "There's an 18 year old inside thinking 'What happened??!?'''.
Age has become a big issue with me. I am NOT ready for what has begun to change. So I have come up with a proposal for future generations. First, no white hairs of any kind will appear before the age of 70 if ever.. Second, no 'erosion lines' (clever, huh?, yet so descriptive) shall appear on a lady's chest appearing to run down into her cleavage if ever. Third, no crepe paper- like skin will appear on thighs before the age of 70 if ever. Fourth, upper arms will not resemble cottage cheese before the age of 70 if ever. Fifth,no joint or muscle aches before the age of 70 if ever. Sixth, No dark skin spots will appear before the age of 70 if ever. Seventh, hearing and sight will remain unimpaired before 70. Period. And Eighth, and most important, menopause will begin on a woman's 50th birthday lasting two weeks. That's it. Not a minute more. And for those 14 days the woman will choose a resort of her choice where she will reside during this difficult transition holding a fruity beverage sporting a cute little paper umbrella, enjoying a plethora of extreme pampering. She won't have to deal with little fresh-colored bumps that appear along collarbones and necks. Her nails won't break 'just because' and her eyelashes won't come out in multiples of five. Her moods will be only one: serene.
The obvious theme here is that I want to look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside. We make the effort to exercise and eat healthy and I believe we should be rewarded. Don't you agree? We have been taught since childhood that if you do your chores you earn your allowance. Or if you get good grades you earn bragging rights and the pride that comes with a job well done. So Bah Humbug! to tradition. Be gone! to bad genes. (~thought bubble~ I'm inserting my ideas in the Heavenly Suggestion Box of Life. I wonder if anyone upstairs is listening.....)
