Thursday, September 15, 2011

Hierarchy of Needs -- A Hilarious Twist. Enjoy!

I have a good friend who shared his theory with me several Christmases ago. Laughed til I cried. I asked him the following year (the four of us get together every year during the holidays) for a 'replay'. He obliged. Same result. SO! I asked Ron if he would send me his hypothesis so I could pass it along to all of you.   And now -- Ron D's theory in his very own words. ENJOY!


"The 'Hierarchy' is best described orally since you can interject examples and add to it by emphasizing certain parts.  Without that, I fear it might not be as entertaining when viewed in print.  However, with that said, here it is.  The "Hierarchy" of a married woman's priorities was inspired by "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs", so you need to be familiar with that concept to properly understand the 'Hierarchy'.  You would think the most important person in a marriage would be your spouse, since that is the one you've agreed to spend the rest of your life with, however most men find that not to be true.  As any married guy knows "the children" are way above him.  That's to be expected though since both men and women sacrifice for their children.  Next you might expect the husband, right?  Not so.  It is her family------mother, father, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  Next, surely must be the husband, eh?   Nope, it is the husband's family.  Mother-in-law, father-in-law, and so on, the same as with her family.   The husband has to be next though, right?  No way!  Friends and neighbors!!   Everyone is spoken for now so the husband has to be next.  Think again!   Complete strangers!!!  Of course since everyone else in the world has been exhausted, now comes the husband!!
You will find that some people think the husband is higher up the list until you give examples such as the husband wanting to spend a holiday or weekend with his wife and kids only to find out that he has to go to Aunt Helen's for Christmas, or some nephew's birthday party, or her friend's children's bar mitzvah.  The best example however is when you are at the grocery store and are dreaming of buying a six pack of imported beer only to have your wife interrupt your dream by telling you to get out of the way because you are blocking the aisle for some strange woman who might want to get by.  Another is when you are at the mall at Christmas and you race to the only available parking place only to have your wife reprimand you because some other car also wanted the space and you shouldn't have sped up to get there first.  These examples need to be given as you are telling the 'Hierarchy' so that the guy can identify with the example and see the logic of your thinking.  Another thing some guys will identify with is the placement of household pets before him.  Generally just after the children, sometimes elsewhere, but always before the husband!!  Some husbands report that inanimate objects such as a car, clothes, shoes, flowers, etc. need to be included---ahead of the husband, of course----but I can only give you my experiences and since I don't have any household pets I haven't listed them.
Hopefully this doesn't suffer too much by not being told orally.  Good luck with your blog.  By the way, I heard Bill Cosby do something very similar to the 'Hierarchy' once at a Wendy's function.  I can assure you that I had been telling the 'Hierarchy' for several years before I heard his version.  Since it was a Wendy's function I didn't confront him about stealing my material and getting residuals.  Another interesting aspect of the 'Hierarchy' is that womaen don't find it as true, or as entertaining, as the men.  Go figure."


Saturday, September 3, 2011

FAB FIND!!! The $6.99 J Crew Favorite Tank

Discovered these at the J Crew store in the Tangers Outlet mall (formerly Prime Outlets) near Washington CH, OH. They are a gift from the gods. A boon for all of us who are either dealing with the M-word or need to wear professional clothes which includes lined suit jackets, of which I wore one today. Just thinking about that rayon material makes me cringe. And sweat. As I sit in the AC. Keeping cool. Tonight. In the basement. In very lightweight loungy clothes. So I won't sweat. (Oops! That's perspire. Gotta remember: Ladies perspire.)

Ok, ok. Getting back to J Crew. When you walk in the door, look to your right. The wall between you and the check-out counter is covered with little painted square cubbies. Which are filled with little folded scraps of clothes. Which come in many colors. Solid and Striped. Which are as manna from heaven. *Be sure to try on. Sizes are a little wonky in that you may need a size larger than your usual.

The Favorite Tank is 6.99. When held up, these look like old-fashioned ribbed cotton mens sleeveless tee shirts. Like the kind my dad wore in the summer under the crisp white button-down shirts he wore to work. Long enough to cover most of your rear end, too. Eliminating day-long hassle. You bend over -Tuck tail back in - You reach up for a file or can of soup or a shoe box -Tuck tail back in. Nope. None of that.

Perfect as a light buffer under those heavy, lined suit jackets. Perfect to sleep in. Perfect over your sports bra at the gym (yup, I'm referring to the same one that had me trapped in my 8/4 post). Perfect for working in the yard. Perfect for just about anything.

I've made two trips down to fetch some. Going back soon for more. Best you hurry before I buy them all. Really. Maybe you better rush. Or better yet why don't you leave now and be there when the store opens tomorrow. I'm just sayin'....