We hear or read about the 'odd' or preposterous ones every now and again. The nightly news loves these kinds of exposes. The print media provides a list to make us shudder. We shake our heads at the theme or theory or product given thousands of dollars for research or testing. But we don't do anything about the waste. At least I'll own up. I don't.
After writing yesterday's post I was inspired. I should be filling out the required application paper work right this very minute to receive some of this pot of available money. Why not? Somebody else out there did the submission and consequently received a big, fat check. Maybe I'll just jump on the old lucrative gravy-train.
With my windfall I could outfit a lab to do brain wave testing crossing over every demographic category and testing all sorts of people to trace and audio record brain transmissions as the participants fall asleep. Male. Female. Age. Race. Location of home. Location of job. Color of eyes. Color of hair. Height. Weight. What they ate for dinner. Favorite snack. Coffee or tea. Straight up or decaffeinated. The music they listen to. The movies they watch. Favorite color. Leather watch strap or metal bracelet. Over or under toilet paper. Stilettos or flats. Hershey bars with or without almonds. Maybe my staff and I would discover some unknown brain 'thing' in charge of night time activity which directly impacts the volume of that activity. I'm not sure but maybe we could win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. (Seems highly possible and probable to moi after last week's winner. Plus I could donate my million to charity as well and avoid any angst my husband might have --see my 11.22.08 entry.)
What? You say this is nuts. Really. No, really? I'm merely considering the security of long-term employment. All of the multitude of possible contributing factors ~ wacky and logical alike ~are positively endless. My research could go on and on and on and..... Forever! I'm set!! Won't ever have to worry about economy fluctuations or outsourcing. Maybe the lab would even evolve into a popular TV reality show. Wow. A Nobel Prize AND an Emmy. Could I ask for anything more??!
And I would look very cute and quite official, I might add, in a little white lab coat. So-o-o my color.
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