I WON THE LOTTERY!!!!! WOO-WOO!!!!!!!!!

This is the one single statement my husband was absolutely eye-squinting-face-puckered-up dreading ever having me shrilly scream into his ear. You see each of us used to buy a $1.00 ticket for the big Wednesday night state lottery drawing. We would watch the short television spot as the ping pong balls were air blown around the lucite cage and wait holding our breath hoping this was our lucky week. Our chance to grab the brass ring. The lure of a 25 Million dollar prize by spending such a little amount was worth our individual investments. We did it for a couple of months but then we just kind of stopped.

My husband was relieved when I didn't win with my ticket because he said I would probably have wanted to give most of it away. We both laughed when he confessed his concern because we both knew he was absolutely right!! I would love to be in the position to have enough money to share. How fantastic would that be to make living conditions better, medical treatments affordable, help those less fortunate, provide college scholarships, erase retirement worries, grant holiday wishes?

Guess that's why the current spotlight on the very small percentage of disgustingly paid executives or outrageously contracted sports figures make me so very angry. No one "needs" all the millions they are grabbing. We all only have to have just so much to live comfortably. If someone has a skill or intelligence and is given more for it I believe we all appreciate and accept that pay scale. But Heavens Sakes -- fleecing a company by pure greed while so many could use just a tiny portion to simply survive another day is not only something just this side of evil....it is just plain sad.

Knowing that all across this country there are thousands of families and working folks and children and community groups who with all sincerity work tirelessly to extend monetary and emotion support to their neighbors is heart-warming and a tribute to the innate goodness that does exist. That's why I hope someday I do win.

Why? Because one of my biggest dreams is to be a real life fairy godmother. Wouldn't that be life changing? And liberating? And refreshing? And just way too much fun! To put more smiles on peoples' faces when relief comes their way, to hear big relieved sighs when cares are erased, to share happy tears with those who will be given new opportunities and fresh beginnings. Whoops!!? There goes that crazy "make dreams come true" wand again!! I cannot wait for that to happen. Watch out, World, when it does!!!

Collecting Friends

I sent an email to a friend this week and told her how blessed I was to have her in my life. I met her about a year and a half ago at an industry gathering. Oh, my! She just "sparkled". Funny, talented, polished, fresh, well traveled, well read. Found later that she is an author, an actress (yes, you just might recognize her), columnist. She is very special.

I have a couple that are very dear to me. Met them when I was working in tandem with their interior decorator. We hit it off like three peas in a pod. We email, meet for lunch, share birthdays together. Two more friends. How lucky am I?!

A customer of mine has become a very special mentor and friend. Her mind is like a steel trap. Her memory is unparalleled. We share the same interests and tastes. I look forward to every visit. Totally unexpected. Another addition to the collection.

I could go on and on and on.......

With every person who crosses your path, be ever watchful for those you want to keep for your very personal, extra-special collection of friends. There is no greater treasure than those we surround ourselves with...and with no monetary payment what so ever. No museum to build, no curio cabinet to fill. Totally intangible, immensely more valuable. In fact: Priceless.

Grown Out of My Little Girl Voice

For years, we are talking into my forties, solicitors would ask "Is your mother there?" when I answered the phone. I took great delight in telling them that no, she was not and promptly hung up the phone. I just had one of those voices that sounded younger than my age....especially over the phone.

I have realized that number one: I don't get that response much these days and, number two: I want to be recognized as being a woman who has come to be her own person in spirit and resolve as well.

I am not a child anymore but find that for the generation above me, that concept doesn't hold much merit. I am still considered by many to be a "girl" who, though valued for her loyalty and faith and work ethic, still is sort of swept aside when it comes to being accepted as an adult.

I know I have shocked some of those same folks when I state my opinion. You can see it their slightly confused expression. It's as if there is one of those digital moving message signs plastered on their foreheads and their unspoken thoughts read like this: "whatever happened to the little gal we knew * this can't possibly be her* who did this to her * where did she get these ideas * who gave her permission to talk like this to us * we don't accept she has changed * this is not how she was raised ".

You get the picture. And I'm sure you have experienced something very similar once or twice or three times in your life. The frustration grows from your desperate need to be taken seriously. To be accepted for being an individual with your very own brain and your very own life path that although it can run parallel with some, weave in and out of others or cross a course of another's only once has it's own vitality and spunk and sweetness and laughter and perspective on life.

OK, so that was a very long run-on sentence that my eighth grade English teacher Mrs. Irma Leatherberry would have greatly frowned upon. I purposefully chose that form of construction to encompass an enormous amount of passionate personal emotion crunched in between the beginning capital letter to the concluding choice of punctuation.

As you have probably gathered I have experienced these bumps a few times lately so I am sporting sort of a seeping, open tender wound where this subject is concerned. It has been another life lesson that will be posted on my "Never Do This To Your Own Child List" that I brush off and update from time to time.

I leave you with this challenge: accept and receive those folks who cross your path with a respectful and open mind today....you just may be startled by what you let yourself discover.

I'll Bet You A Quarter That....

I'm going to share a personal secret with you: If I ever say that to you DO NOT take the bet. I will win. No doubt. No margin for error. It is carved in stone. As you know, the bragging rights and the pride of besting someone are so much more important than the bet itself so the quarter is a minor detail. But I don't lose my quarters no matter how insignificant they may seem to you.

I was ironing this weekend providing the perfect opportunity to let my mind wander. I began to review my life over the last five years. What was so startlingly evident was the about-face changes I had made....180's where,without question, I would have lost my quarters. Here are a few.

I would have called you *!*CRAZY*# if you would have bet me that I would attend the contemporary church service instead of the traditional. I have always loved the comfort of being led to-about-the-same-pew every Sunday morning by an usher you knew, following the predictable pattern of the service, listening to the sermon from the lectern, having the choirs share music, the congregation singing the wonderful old hymns. More often now I sit in a folding chair, listen to a band, read the words off a screen for the songs we sing. I have found for me it's good to shake the old cobwebs out of our spiritual life. (Psst! I will admit I do have to slip back into the sanctuary every once in a while to get my hymn-fix. Love those beautiful melodies.)

Me?? Exercise??? Let along join a gym!?? Now think. Remember me in gym class? I was the one who did not want to be there. Had no interest in jumping over the gymnastics horse or trying to stand on my head or getting sweaty and having (yes, it was enforced) to take that stupid shower before going to the next period. My hand put out to accept your quarter was a sure thing. Yet here I am three times a week (at least) riding the bike, doing the treadmill, going through my routine on the machines. And absolutely loving it. Very scary.

How many times I have scoffed at the colors of brown and green used for interior decoration. Couldn't even stand the thought. I grew up in the 60's and "Early American" was popular. Eagles, browns, oranges, greens and heavily napped carpeting. UGH. But forty years later I have discovered a rich, elegant tone of Taupe that is makes-my-teeth-hurt incredibly gorgeous to me and Sage Greens-quiet, calming shades that have poked a hole in that "Eck!! Green!" bubble I had erected.

Drink diet pop? I'd rather cut off my arm first. The after-taste was enough to make me forget my thirst. Now? Give me that Diet Dr.Pepper. I am not kidding you. Pure and simple: I am addicted.

Make my living in sales?? You are insane??!? Talk about make-my-skin-crawl-go-hide-in-my-closet-no-I-will-not-you-can't-make-me absolute abhorance. I hated selling Girl Scout cookies. Dreaded the community canvas Donut Sale for my high school band. Knocked on doors in my neighborhood selling annual subscriptions to our local paper. Every time I drug my feet to the houses on my street and posed the perverbial question in my own special way: "You don't want to buy (cookies, subscription or donuts), do you? Everyone always answered "Why yes!I've been expecting you!" in a most joyous manner. (gag) And here I am collecting a paycheck, looking forward to each day, interacting with my customers and the goals I set for myself.

Think about your own life changes. There have been a few, haven't there? Some shockers even. Ones you never thought would happen. Probably will be some more before your life is over. (Hmmm) I just betcha.....

Mid Life Crisis

My friends were freaking out when they turned 30 -- I laughed at them. To the their faces.

My friends were spazzing out when they reached the age of 40 -- I scoffed in their presence.

When I turned 50 my mortality smacked me right in the face. My friends got their revenge.

I have not changed my eating habits. My weight remains the same. Yet this body of mine is daily changing before my eyes. My shape is developing bumps/lumps that are driving me absolutely loony.

Gray hairs are popping out all over. I look in the mirror each morning to see another one staring at me from an eyebrow that I swear was not there yesterday. My tweezers are getting a workout.

I have annoying aches and pains in my lower back, a couple finger joints and my heart does a few strange rhythms every so often.

I look back at my 20's, 30's and 40's and wonder why I didn't do a little more of "this" or "that".

I am debating when to cut my hair. You know "older" ladies just don't wear longer locks.

I have started taking vitamins and supplements I had not heard of two years ago like Glucosamine Chondroitin, Omega3 Fish Oil and baby aspirin.

I joined a gym. Me. In a gym. Mind boggling.

The two piece bathing suit has permanently left my reality. Tank suits here I come!!

I have to tell you I am NOT liking the physicality of this growing older stuff. Not one little bit. I am grappling with the fact that it is my turn to experience what I can do nothing to stop. Zip Nada. To use a favorite expression of mine from years past which sums up my current struggles perfectly -- "This is really yucky!!!"

Truly Profound

Do you ever find yourself literally spellbound by an intense truth or reality? Has a universal concept really sunk through the layers of your life and finally made you catch your breath? The actually of what this thought represents seriously jolts your brain so that you must physically stop what you are doing and take the time to let your consciousness wrap itself around the WHAT and the HOW? Contrasted to the proverbial light bulb comes on adage which plucks a "dah-moment" cord for the masses, I am talking about very personal and introspective "whoa" moments. Let me share some of mine with you and see if you have, as well, experienced similar mind-stopping situations.

I worked out in the yard yesterday afternoon preparing the garden for the winter. I was cutting back the clumps of Sedum and came in contact with the extremely sharp canes left over from last year's harvest. These woody stems are very much like bamboo stalks and I expect are reminiscent of the slivers pushed under fingernails for torturous purposes....at least that is what my skin was screaming at me. (I know, I know...wear garden gloves and I would have avoided the muliple cuts I now sport. Hey, I was in a hurry and intended to have the job done in quick time.) When I had put all the stems in the yard bag, I noticed the small gouges and thought how nice my hands would be looking at work on the morrow(ha)....but then it hit me. In a week or so my skin will look as if nothing happened. No scabs. No scars. Perfectly healed. No trace of any tears at all. How incredible is that??!? As soon as the epideral layer was cut the cells had begun to rebuild and replace and repair. Think about that. I didn't tell them to do their job. There was no memo or email or text message or meeting. Our bodies are mind-boggling machines filled with constant life forces all directed by microscopic masterminds directing every complicated mission our very breath depends on. Wow.

The fact that two itsy-bitsy cells unite and our race is procreated in infinite detail is crazy.

Look up at the sky on a dark, clear night and gaze at the stars and planets glow back at you knowing that the light you see left that surface years ago traveling at the speed of over a hundred thousand miles per second. Or experience a glorious meteor shower or look at an lunar eclipse through a huge telescope. Leaf through pages of a magazine showing photos of the Milky Way from the Hubble telescope. Now do you feel like a little tiny piece of this mind-blowing puzzle?

Think of the life of the one man who saved mankind by sacrificing his own through his pure and unselfish love. Then consider all of the others who have willingly given theirs following his example.

All miracles. All gifts. Truly, in the purest form, awesome.

They Come and They Go....

Tuesday night there was a message on the answering machine which was both unexpected and delightful. It was a man's voice and he didn't identify himself at the beginning. As I listened to his tone and words my memory was working overtime. I recognized the phrasing and timbre and it instinctively felt really "good" as I feverishly flipped through the brain's filing system to put a name with the noise, so to speak. I spoke his name just as he stated his name.

This gentleman was a coworker and friend back in the '90's who had moved to California to pursue career opportunities. The memories of working together flowed over me and I "grew" a big smile as each significant remembered moment flashed on the screen in my head. I loved all the colorful times we shared, the drama and the laughs. Hearing from him again was a serendipitous blessing.

His message started out by stating a quote of mine which he had carried with him since 1998. He asked me if I remembered saying, "They come and they go. And then you forget their name." which he smoothly followed by asking me in perfect context if I remembered him. That's when his voice flipped the switch and I embraced his name and laughed softly at the concept that the quote had encompassed for the two of us. I called the number he left and he answered right away. He asked me if I could place when and where I had spoken those words because he could!! So we relived the specific evening when we had attended a company dinner together, the two of of us supplying pieces to the scenario puzzle, drawing bubbling laughter from each other that felt so darned good. We spent fifteen minutes catching up on the eight years spent apart. The other half of this blessing was that he was at that very moment having dinner with two friends whom I knew and I additionally had a chance catch up with both of them as well.

The theme of this story? Surprises come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Keep your eyes open. The moral to this story? You never know when the words you speak will carve a remembered moment in someone else's life. Keep your heart open.