They Come and They Go....

Tuesday night there was a message on the answering machine which was both unexpected and delightful. It was a man's voice and he didn't identify himself at the beginning. As I listened to his tone and words my memory was working overtime. I recognized the phrasing and timbre and it instinctively felt really "good" as I feverishly flipped through the brain's filing system to put a name with the noise, so to speak. I spoke his name just as he stated his name.

This gentleman was a coworker and friend back in the '90's who had moved to California to pursue career opportunities. The memories of working together flowed over me and I "grew" a big smile as each significant remembered moment flashed on the screen in my head. I loved all the colorful times we shared, the drama and the laughs. Hearing from him again was a serendipitous blessing.

His message started out by stating a quote of mine which he had carried with him since 1998. He asked me if I remembered saying, "They come and they go. And then you forget their name." which he smoothly followed by asking me in perfect context if I remembered him. That's when his voice flipped the switch and I embraced his name and laughed softly at the concept that the quote had encompassed for the two of us. I called the number he left and he answered right away. He asked me if I could place when and where I had spoken those words because he could!! So we relived the specific evening when we had attended a company dinner together, the two of of us supplying pieces to the scenario puzzle, drawing bubbling laughter from each other that felt so darned good. We spent fifteen minutes catching up on the eight years spent apart. The other half of this blessing was that he was at that very moment having dinner with two friends whom I knew and I additionally had a chance catch up with both of them as well.

The theme of this story? Surprises come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Keep your eyes open. The moral to this story? You never know when the words you speak will carve a remembered moment in someone else's life. Keep your heart open.

The Underwear Drawer

Do you have a secret place where you tuck things away from all the other eyes and hands in your house? You know....like the ten dollars you received for your birthday...or the package of M&M's you shouldn't have bought...or the credit card receipt for those very expensive jeans you really weren't supposed to get on this month's budget....wonderful goodies like those.

Come on. Admit it. We've all stashed away a few things in our lifetime. When the time is right these items "appear" Very Very quietly in the realm of the light of day. And when your husband notices the new top several weeks down the road you can honestly say, "Honey, I have had this for a while now" and feel totally justified. *(In my case it is usually my son who vocalizes his observation and that generally grabs my husband's attention so quick it makes your head spin! I gotta tell you my quiet, smooth introduction is much more manageable and, ok let's be honest, sly.)

My personal choice for years has been my underwear drawer. No real reason for anyone to snoop there because who wants to get into Mom's chest of drawers where all that girlie stuff is. On the whole it's been a pretty safe spot. Now think about your own home and I'm sure you can picture some very obtuse hiding spots perfect for you.(Psst!! -- like where you keep Christmas wrapping paper and bows. And there's the picnic basket downstairs on the dusty basement shelf. Or how 'bout in the kitchen-- in the corner- in the back-in the dark behind the pressure cooker and the cheese domes?) Well, maybe those are not easily accessible for quickly poked (and retrieved) goodies. Guess you're on your own to figure the choicest ones for your purposes.

I must admit that after 30 years I am hiding less. Makes life easier if you just talk about your intended purchase. For years I would ask for forgiveness (bypassing the "permission" part) by pleading my case with the admission that insanity completely overwhelmed my usual good sense and MADE me buy it. As well you know, DISCIPLINE is my middle name and my other half always sympathized with the crippling urge that overtook my brain like some mind-bending alien at the checkout counter and caused me to act so out of character.

You laughing yet or just waiting for the lightening to strike...better stand back. No, really. Take my advice. Stand back. Watch out!!!!!!!!!!! (Flash of blinding light!! Eardrum splitting cccrrack!!! Smell of acrid smoke....) Well, now, now. Don't get all upset. I told you to protect yourself. So maybe the next time you'll listen .... and your eyebrows won't get singed.

..."And God said, "Just keep looking..."

When I was working at the flower shop I was initially hired as a designer then moved to the position of a phone order taker during non-holiday periods then was put in charge of all store displays/all Christmas themes -- usually 16 to 18)/all inventory back-stock. I was also a buyer and LOVED our trips to Atlanta (staying at the Ritz and sipping a virgin Strawberry daiquiri at 11pm were two salves for the 10 hour days spent on my feet) and Dallas (savoring a steak at Bob's Restaurant) to expand our giftware and store merchandise.

We had two very large storerooms for all the extra items not displayed in the shop's layout. My office was near them. (I actually reorganized the largest one all by myself and I had to be familiar with all the various lines to be able to find them for my display purposes.) Not a week went by without a harried saleslady rushing up to my desk desperately asking me where "such and such" was because it just wasn't there and a customer needed one right now!!! I would immediately assume my soothing "it will be all right" voice and escort them back into the stockroom and proceed down the row of shelves where the lost item should reside. I would listen to their frustrated rant as they explained they had done all they possibly could do to locate the missing gift item and how-could-it-not-be-there-and-what-stupid-person-put-it-somewhere-else-and.... I would calmly nod my head to communicate my bonding with their situation and tell them I agreed the search and placement were constant constraints considering all of the merchandise we carried. Then I would share my coup de gras that always caught them unawares. "Now I know this is very upsetting but let me tell you what I always remind myself of in these situations. Don't lose your focus. You know the item is here. I will be happy to be another pair of eyes because we must remember the Lord's advice."

Well, that always grabbed their attention the first time they heard me say that! The lady would look at me with a sort of wide-eyed quizzical expression and wonder what was coming next. "I know this is not a direct quote from the Bible but in my own words when I am in a pickle and feel myself getting uptight I remember the advice God shared with his followers ...."Just keep looking" (you know-- wandering through the desert for 40 years, the three wise men following the star, etc etc). Their initial facial reaction could be read as either "WHAT??!?" or "HUH!!?!". Then they would giggle and relax when what I said sunk in and we would find the box of whatever they needed tucked behind something else or on the floor underneath or somewhere close by. The salesclerk was then smiling when she returned to the customer, her treasure hunt successful and having enjoyed the support of a fellow employee.

So just repeat this phrase, one of my little Julie-isms, whenever you need to in your life. Please feel free to share it with folks (especially your children to keep YOU calm). And don't be surprised to hear these six words repeated back to you during the next adventure of searching for socks....or shoes....or their little brother....

Oh, Look! A Duck!!

There is a catalog of baseball caps, T-shirts and sweatshirts (and a few coffee cups and such) called What on Earth. Each piece has a quote or saying or smart remark. Every year I receive one around Christmas and laugh my head off. Not kidding. There is always one or two that I think are priceless.

The last edition showed a sweatshirt with a notation that has become a part of my everyday life. I cut it out of this smallish sized book and have it taped where I can see it everyday at work. My fellow employees now say it as well. It really has quite the universal appeal. In this one sentence my entire existence at this point in my life is succinctly summed up .....And I'm telling you right now I never, NEVER want you to have to go through this so take my advice and simply refuse to let this happen to you. Female or male. It doesn't matter.

The gist of the message is: "Some people say I have ADD Oh look! A duck!" That's it. This one grammatically incorrect sentence has become the mantra in my everyday life. I have become this totally unorganized, unfocused mess. The cause you ask? One word says it all: Menopause. The M word. Because of this hormonal crappy stage in life my brain has turned to mush, sleep eludes me, a lovely rosy blush now beams from my cheeks without the aid of any pinky-toned fluid or powdered cosmetic, a small tabletop fan now graces my work desk, lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentence and I have no short-term memory whatsoever. In short I have become a blubbering idiot.

Case in point: Day off three weeks ago. Got up and started the yard sprinkler. I was in the kitchen doing dishes when I got the hankering for chocolate chip cookies. Pulled out the mixing bowl, gathered the ingredients, added the flour, sugar and margarine to the bowl when I remembered I needed to call for a doctor's appointment. Walked to my bag to retrieve my address book in the spare bedroom. Called two friends. Went to the computer and looked up some info off Google that I needed. Decided to start laundry so took the baskets to the basement and put a load in the washer. Saw a can of pork and beans on the pantry shelf which sparked the concept for the menu for dinner so I carried that and some baking potatoes upstairs, sat them on the counter and pulled ham out of the freezer. Looked at the clock and decided to run my errands to get them out of the way.

Have you figured it out yet? The sprinkler was on for FOUR hours in one spot. Some dishes still sat on the counter unwashed. I never called the doctor. The laundry wasn't ever started and the cookies didn't get baked until almost dinner time.

So listen to me people!!?! When your body clock starts to give you the signs that IT is coming, I want you to refuse to let it happen. Trust me. Your life will be thrown into utter chaos. Take my advice. For the love of God don't let it happen to you!!! Run!!! Run as fast as you can!!!!!! ...AAAAHHHHHHHH!

Being Abe Lincoln

That's what we called living for seven days without electricity due to Hurricane Ike. From Sunday, September 14th, when the 75mph winds whipped through this entire state for eight incredible hours (at one time our son in SW Ohio, us and my inlaws in NE Ohio were all out at the same time -- go figure!!?!) to Sunday the 21st when crews from Tennessee and Virginia brought our grid back up we were sharing the lifestyle of young Abe (you know....those stories we read about him studying by the burning logs in his cabin fireplace ...similar to walking home 18 miles for lunch...ok, ok maybe that was overkill...).

I was being my usual Pollyanna-self, stressing the blessings of water (yes, plenty of that, even abundantly hot) AND cool temperatures (opened the windows at night for refreshing breezes to float through the bedroom), and I got to burn the candles I had collected over the years and never had used!! I learned to run my errands after 7:45pm when the house got too dark. The stores are open until 9p or 10p, my gym until 11p, and of course, restaurants as well. So I nudged my husband into learning to flip the schedule a bit. (We just followed that famous movie line from Poltergeist, "Go toward the light.....")

About Thursday my other half had had just about enough of my cheery attitude....all he wanted was the darned ability to flick the switches on again!! And once the lines were repaired we found ourselves only turning on those lights we really needed. Hey! We lived a week with zilch and I guess you could say we adapted pretty darned well without that new-fangled invention by Mr. Edison. I do believe Mr. Lincoln would have been very proud.

HINT: I found some great 6-volt battery flashlights ($3.97) so I bought 2 and a Coleman lantern with fluorescent bulb/battery run ($19.97 + cells) at Lowe's and they helped illuminate our dinners and our pathways around the house. Go grab one/some now. You just never know when those little goodies will come in handy.....

Life as a Sponge

Mine began in earnest my senior year in high school....one of the greatest times in my life (hold on now-- those reflections are for another day's entry). A classmate, who was the class president, gave me an off-the-cuff compliment one day after a class we were sharing that caught me totally off-guard. (Background: It surprised me because first, we weren't at all close friends, and secondly, she wasn't the type to hand these out. During this point in the school years we had been working on a Class Board project together. I found her comfortable to work with and she found me efficient and detail-oriented.) She told me that she knew she could tell me anything knowing I would keep it to myself. She was confident there would be no leaks, no fodder for gossip. She thanked me and told me how much she appreciated that from someone she didn't know very well.

WHOA. Now on the one hand that is very, very nice to hear. Yet, on the other, I now had a big responsibility to really watch what I said. No room for inadvertent comments. No "Oops! I didn't mean to say that!" moments. No excuses for slippage. I had become a designated Person-To-Trust.

You know how hard that is in high school!!?? Man, you get a juicy piece of gossip dropped in your lap and you just want to share it in a big way because of the power that tidbit gave you especially if it was about someone super popular or someone you really didn't like. And what if the news was one of those jaw-dropping you've-got-to-be-kidding-me spectacular bombshells??! Well, shoot. Those prospective bright and shining moments in the "whispered comments" world had just been swept away in a heartbeat.

So as I walked down the hallway lamenting the loss of great and endless possibilities, I was also rejoicing in my new found status. Because you know what?? I found I learned a whole lot more keeping my mouth shut than I ever would have if I was still a regular cog in the rumor mill. Pretty cool. And it is true. Knowledge is a formidable power to wield in the hallowed halls of high school. Life WAS good and still is as my role hasn't changed in all the years since that defining moment.

My Favorite Annual Appointment

Every woman who reads this will absolutely identify. Without question it is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself. No matter how you personally feel about this exam, you MUST do this for your own health and piece of mind and that of your family. All that being said.....

I have gone to the same OB/GYN for 21 years. I respect him as a doctor and like him as a person. We get along just great and just talk about anything. Now. Those first few years were a tad bit rough.

I call this the "Scoot down...a little more...Ok, stop. That's good" appointment. My analogy: Me lying on the table being given both audible and visual signals on how and where to place myself is like being an airplane slowly rolling across the tarmac with one of those orange-cone waving airport employees guiding me into a good position for the lock with the loading gate tunnel. Once you are in position the cones are crossed, employee stops walking backward and you're good. Except in my personal scenario I am now lying there feeling like I'm totally uncovered for the entire nation, hearing those seven familiar little words, "It's going to be a little cold."

I don't know about you but the first time I was with my doctor I felt a whole lot embarrassed. Heck, it is like you're screaming, "Hey!! Here I am!! I'm feeling a little vulnerable and very exposed so hurry up about it, will ya?" How did I handle it? The first year I said (total truth here) trying to break the ice a bit , "So, is it dark down there?" He slowly raised his eyes and very quietly, very professionally replied with something like, "This won't take long. Let me complete this test."(when he was actually thinking, "Oh, great. I got a comedienne on the table and I just want to get through this as easily as possible.") The second year I asked, "Does everyone look pretty much the same?" thinking that if I were he I would MUCH rather be delivering babies than conducting Pap tests. This time he obviously felt more at ease with me since I was making another one of my quirky inquiries to lighten the atmosphere. His reply, again very professional and softly spoken, was "Shut up, Julie" and I started to giggle. By the third year we were totally comfortable with each other, conversing like old friends through all of the exam asking about vacations, dogs, kid, spouses. And this year we celebrated my 21st exam together and over the years our dogs have passed on and new ones found to love, careers have changed in my family, child has gone to college, lots of vacations enjoyed. We have laughed together. Cried together.

I still ask occasional questions during the exam just to relive the good old times. He still gives me the look. And, come to think about it, he never did answer my questions.