You Can Only Laugh

We've all been there. You just walked into the restroom after a very important corporate meeting attended by ALL the higher-ups you want/have been trying to impress. You go to the sink and start to wash your hands. You look up into the mirror after applying soap and turning on the water. You check your hair, fac.....NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =WAIT= Maybe it's the lights. You close your eyes and hang your head trying to wrap your head around the ice cold embarrassment currently rushing through your veins. Bravely you slowly gather your courage and allow your chin to rise, daring you to look again, squinting with dubious hope at your reflection that what you thought you saw really isn't there.

Yep....that confirms it. So much for your upwardly mobile path to success in this company. The piece of spinach from the salad you grabbed before that planning session is still firmly implanted between two teeth in all it's glory. Hard to miss that rich, vibrant green blob which contrasts so beautifully against your brilliant pearly whites. Again, hope springs eternal!! Maybe no one saw it. Really. Just maybe. So you pretend to talk watching your lips mask your teeth at different angles as you recreate the words you spoke at the conference table to confirm your hypothesis. Tilting your head a little this way, a little that. A soft giggle. Sweet smile. Turn your head to the right. To the left.

That totally clarifies any gray area you had. You're toast. No way around it. You are now --this VERY instant -- water cooler fodder. You calmly accept your fate and you begin to plan how to arrange all of your apartment furniture here in this lovely restroom as you plan NEVER to leave these four walls ever ever again.

Realizing you can't realistically spend the next four hours in the Ladies Room without raising some sort of alarm among your co-workers you harden your resolve to leave your sanctuary of safety. Lifting your head, straightening your spine, squaring your shoulders, you turn and re-enter the hall heading toward your cubicle. As you turn the corner you abruptly come face to face with the VP who is not only the key to that aforementioned upward mobility....but he is so darned cute AND single AND the subject of a nighttime dream or two. As he slows his pace to pass you, he slightly lowers his head to quietly whisper, "Don't worry. I'm impressed you eat spinach. And by the way you look very nice in green."

Wow!! Did he just ask me out???!? Obviously not but when life gives you lemons..... or a big unnoticed food spot on your blouse or a wide open zipper in your slacks or that pervervbial piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe..... always remember to make lemonaide!!!!!