Trash Day

Along with the title of 'Queen of Recyling' in this house (and, yes, if you must know I actually do own a fabulous tiara which I wear from time to time), I also proudly wear the mantle of taking care of the weekly trash pick-up. I've decided it's a little bit of a control thing. Really? You'd call it a control thing? What?!?

Well, yeah. I can organize it the way I want to. I can make sure it gets out to the curb on time. I don't have to remind or bug .... or complain..... or bug ......or whine....or push anybody else. I get it done as soon as I get home from work the evening before our scheduled day. I'm efficient, neat and calm (the last being the most important of course). Wow. I sound someone I'd want to hire on a permanent basis for all sorts of jobs.

Just another reason this family darned lucky to have me. Think I better remind them more frequently just how much. Toot my horn every once in a while. But....on second thought maybe I'll just keep operating slightly under the radar. That way I can quietly maneuver in and around, smiling when catching a compliment whenever cast from hither and yon, yet all the while keeping the household humming along on my well-oiled wheels.

Wait~~maybe I should re-think that!

Compliments...or...'My Way'? Hmmmm. 'My Way'...or...Compliments? (give me a sec; juggling/juggling/juggling the these two concepts in my mind....) And here's the Master of Ceremonies with the announcement of the unanimous decision: "The win-ner iiisss... : 'My Way'!!!!" and the crowd goes wild.....!!!!!

Kick Ass Shoes

I wore a pair of turquoise, very pointed toe, embossed lizard pattern, inch-and-a-half heeled mules to work today. My neighbor gave them to me about a year ago. They were in her closet and she decided after buying them that she wasn't going to wear them. No receipt -- Did I want them? You bet. Way, way cool. An opportunity not to be missed. And to be honest I wouldn't have even have given them a second look, let alone purchased them because with the way they are cut I never would have thought I could keep them on my feet, let alone wear them any length of time.

All I can say is I am glad I proved myself wrong!! Have I worn them before today? Yes, maybe two or three times. But, oh, baby, for some reason today was THE day! Coworkers commented on them. Customers commented on them. One of my bosses even commented on them. I am telling you I felt like hot stuff today. All day. There is nothing that makes a girl feel more fabulous than an outrageous pair of kick ass shoes. Put me right over the top. I know I wore a slightly bigger smile and my hips swung just a little teeny bit more because of it. That "Hey! I am looking so cute and I know it and I am enjoying every single minute of it" kind of look. I was oozing (maybe that's a bit dramatic but you understand, don't you) that oh-so-wonderful warm and fabulous feminine confidence that feels really, really goooooood. And we all love to have those standing on the bow of the Titanic with our head thrown back and the wind blowing across our outstretched arms cause we just conquered the world kind of moments. Oh, yeah, we do.

These puppies will be a tough act to follow and I realize I do have to pace myself. Can't startle the folks day after day after day. But I can't let them down, either, now can I? Such a quandary. Well, we all have our burdens...and one must maintain expectations. It's a social responsibility I take quite seriously. Sooooooo.... I'll just have to rely on my stylist ( that's rich ~ that would be me, of course!) to pull something absolutely marvelous together in the morning. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. And VOILA! The makings of another fashion triumph. It is tough to be me....or that evil twin I was telling you about just days ago....

Olay Regenerist Night Recovery Cream

The BEST investment ever. Has B3 vitamins. Light not heavy/oily. You don't need gobs of it. $17.99 at my store. Coupons for $3 off appear frequently in our Sunday supplement.

This pale purple cream is incredible. Gets rave reviews from morning talk shows and consumer groups. Try it for two weeks. An hour before you go to bed, wash your face and gently rub it into the lines at the corners of your eyes. Around your mouth. Between your eyebrows. Glides right on.

Now relax. Read a sexy romantic novel. Look at Vogue. Watch reruns of Glee. Whatever floats your boat. Let it soak in nicely before you start nestling into the fabric of your pillow.

After two weeks let me know what you think. This product is fabulous, inexpensive and feels so smooth. You're gonna love it!!

I am SO not ready for this yet!!@#*!*

I thought all this aging stuff, and change in general, was supposed to start happening to people in the 70's. Or 80's. Not now. And certainly.... CERTAINLY.... not to me.

My nails stop growing at about a quarter of an inch long because at that length they break off (bad thing). I'm getting those little red skin spots (ugh--really bad thing). These little 'thick' spots are appearing on my collar bone (weird bad thing). A few white eyebrow hairs have shown up (pluckable bad thing). My upper arms started looking just a little like cottage cheese (dimply bad thing). When did the erosion lines appear running down into my cleavage (now come on! bad thing)?? What happened to perky by the way (bewildering bad thing).Eyelashes fall out (not-great-for-mascara bad thing). I remember stuff half of the time on one day(frustrating bad thing) and everything the next (frustrating good thing). And those red-old-lady-skin-dots (UGH! bad thing).

In all fairness I feel compelled to balance the argument: The hair on my head is growing faster than ever before (my stylist even mentioned it good thing). The hair on my legs hardly grows at all (time-saver good thing). I weigh 2 more pounds than I did at high school graduation (no joke good thing). I am lifting weights to combat the dimplies (take that! good thing). My knuckles aren't big yet (alleluia good thing). My nearsidedness is sharper than ever (great for reading good thing). And speaking of cleavage (underwires: priceless good thing). Still have tons of energy (fantastic good thing).

The few gray hairs on my head never bothered me because those can be hidden in so many clever ways, right, everyone? I've tried a few and praise the inventor of dye. Obviously your gene pool is ever so important to give you the interior framework to support whatever gilding you prefer to apply to the exterior. Eating right, exercising, drinking water all help. (blah blah blah) So be smart and treat yourself right, Girls.

Oh, ah, could you wait just a second or two while I...crunch chew chew crunch chew swallow. There. Sorry! My peanut M&M's were calling. Scientists will one day prove what I already know. Chocolate is a food group all its own and eases all sorts of stress and angst. Personally I find it more soothing than wine. Takes the edge off for me. Gives a person a much better perspective, makes the world a little bit brighter and their little anxieties easier to handle. Now, where are those tweezers of mine.....?

Daniel -- Profoundly Faithful

During his Palm Sunday sermon yesterday our pastor, Dave Bogue, referenced the book of Daniel several times. I remembered the story of Daniel surviving the lions den and his three friends walking out of the blazing hot furnace but not much else.

This morning I pulled out my new Life Application Study Bible and turned to Daniel located in the Old Testament. This edition fascinates me because of all the referenced historical and biblical background material provided at the bottom of each page. Did you realize Daniel, his three friends as well as all of the other prisoners chosen after Nebuchadnezzar defeated Jerusalem, had to walk over 500 miles to reach Babylon? I didn't. Intrigued I started reading this testament to pure faith. No artificial veneer. No false pretenses. They trusted beyond all measure, resolving to hold on to their integrity, discipline and belief in the Lord no matter the earthly cost.

Made me reflect, not just by staring in the mirror but looking deep down inside into who I am. I pray. I listen. I ask for guidance. Wisdom. Answers. Bring people and situations before God when my heart is heavy, as well as in celebration. I say 'thank you' as often as I can, don't you? (I know I'd like to hear the appreciation if I were He.) Keep the Golden Rule in front of me at all times.

But not enough. That is the bottom line I had to truthfully face. I could do more. Do it better.

I am in awe of these four men who did not bend their values, were respected by their earthly king and saved because it by their heavenly father. If ever I am tested to those extremes, I do pray that I will be able to walk steadfastly in the shoes of those gone before me, serving as another example of discipleship with unfailing trust, a full heart and unwavering love.

Me, the Mall and the Space Station

A week and a half ago I was watching the 6 O'clock News. The weather man announced that the International Space Station would be passing over around 9pm that night. "Look for a white light moving northwest to northeast." Ok. I'll keep it in mind. I like to see stuff like that. Made salads for supper. Did the dishes. Decided to go the gym.

I was riding the bike, reading as usual, when I remember what I'd heard. Glanced at the clock on the wall. 8:55. Plenty of time. Curious I decided to check it out. Left my book and towel on the seat and walked outside. The sky was absolutely cloudless. Dry air. Clear as could be. The most beautiful dark sapphire blue color. Perfect for station gazing.

I made my way to the center of the big parking lot trying to put myself in-between the tall light posts where I would have the best vantage point. Still wasn't real dark but it would have to do. Better with my hands up shielding my eyes. Started looking up and to my left. I had no idea if the 'bright, white light' would be low, close to the horizon line or high above me or even somewhere in the middle.

There! Oh, my gosh! It was white and it was bright and it was coming right at me at a decent clip from my left side. The station was easy to spot and it was alot bigger than I expected. In fact it was much larger than some airplanes you spot flying at higher altitudes. I found myself walking straight ahead on a 90 degree intercept to its movement so this incredible wonder of modern science would float right over my head.

Felt like good karma or something. I watched it continue on until the light faded, then disappeared. Just me. All alone with the space station. In a parking lot. Feeling very, very cool.

Jesse James, Sandra Bullock and a Cliche'

As soon as the news broke about Jesse's infidelity I told my husband if I was Sandra I would have looked that creep in the eye, pointed my finger right up in his face and said "Thanks for reducing this marriage and my career down to one stupid, bound-to-be-repeated-a-million-times cliche: Talk about being blindsided. Really, Jesse, great job. Thanks. Thanks a whole @#* lot."

She hasn't been seen nor heard from since the crap hit the fan and her life as she knew it splintered into a million pieces. Hopefully someone on the magazine staff with a kind heart called to give her the heads-up so she had time to get away before the mad feeding frenzy began. After her heartfelt, emotional speech at the Oscars (with Jesse sitting in the audience with puppy dog eyes moist with unshed tears.....gag me) how stupid, betrayed, raw, bewildered, enraged, embarrassed, foolish and used she must feel.

Here she was on location out of state, filming a movie, earning a paycheck. (Before marriage was Sandra in headlines due to promiscuous behavior, clubbing 'til 3am, getting stupid traffic tickets, shoplifting, dressing like a wench ~ the usual stylings of a steriotypical Hollywood bimbo? No. She worked hard at her craft and kept a lower profile.) And her husband is back home acting 'entitled' shall we say (Hmmm....seems to be going around these days...maybe 'ole Jesse will ne the one to sign up for therapy this week) on a couch in his garage. Ouch! Talk about sad irony.

Granted her hubby was married to a porn star, works on choppers/cars, is tatooed from here to there. All the usual 'bad boy' stuff. Clues to behavior? Who's to say. Sometimes love just sucks. Even when the lady is doing all the right things, the choices made by others can muck everything up. I give her credit -- she was willing to give her heart. Too bad the recipient just didn't understand the true value of the gift.