Still building on that very tempting 'grab-the-brass-ring-grant-idea' I have a second area of study. I personally cannot stand loose, baggy cuffs around my wrists. Can you? Sweaters, blouses, T-shirts, jackets, whatever. Anything long-sleeved MUST fit nice and snug.
Thus most of my clothes get pushed up my arms to bunch around my elbows either due to age of the garment (loss of elasticity in the material) or its construction. Kind of gives me that cool preppy look and gets that sloppy material out of my way. In fact as I type this entry my sweatshirt cuffs were folded back once before I shoved them up my forearms. Hint: that fold makes a secured band for the weight of the material to rest against so it doesn't fall or collapse back down as quickly. Kind of a physical anti-gravity thing. If only my high school physics teacher Mr. Drinkhouse could see me now. He would be so proud. (psst - back up NOW coz the lightening bolt is on its way.)
Wow. Come to think of it this phenomenon could turn into a two-fold study. On the one hand a sociological one of the demographic kind and on the other a psychological one where we analyzed any phobias or personal issues which may have caused this trait tot begin with in the first place. You know. Like this could be a symptom of rebelling against the establishment rules such as having-to-always-having-to-keep-your-room-clean-while-growing-up or those 'you-must-be-clean-plater' statements made nightly at the supper table. That kind of stuff. OH! OH! And what if it went full circle, so to speak, where these findings and statistics fed back into the Loud Night Noise Study shedding even more light on possible causes of that condition. I don't know about you but my mind is just being blown away by what this all could mean for the entire world-at-large. And possibly...just possibly...there might be a Presidential Medal of Honor for Contributions to the Betterment of Mankind waiting out there for me when all these findings are published and hailed as 'brilliant' and 'enlightening'. Perhaps even 'unparalleled'. (bravo, mes amis! caught my tongue in cheek tone, have you?)
Seems to me this calls for TWO different grant applications. Let's do the math: Two studies. Twice the money. Thus the real issue is why the heck am I sitting here typing on this keyboard when I could be raking in the BIG bucks...and building a trophy case for all the fancy hardware bound to come this way. I just love hand engraving, don't you?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Federal Grants
We hear or read about the 'odd' or preposterous ones every now and again. The nightly news loves these kinds of exposes. The print media provides a list to make us shudder. We shake our heads at the theme or theory or product given thousands of dollars for research or testing. But we don't do anything about the waste. At least I'll own up. I don't.
After writing yesterday's post I was inspired. I should be filling out the required application paper work right this very minute to receive some of this pot of available money. Why not? Somebody else out there did the submission and consequently received a big, fat check. Maybe I'll just jump on the old lucrative gravy-train.
With my windfall I could outfit a lab to do brain wave testing crossing over every demographic category and testing all sorts of people to trace and audio record brain transmissions as the participants fall asleep. Male. Female. Age. Race. Location of home. Location of job. Color of eyes. Color of hair. Height. Weight. What they ate for dinner. Favorite snack. Coffee or tea. Straight up or decaffeinated. The music they listen to. The movies they watch. Favorite color. Leather watch strap or metal bracelet. Over or under toilet paper. Stilettos or flats. Hershey bars with or without almonds. Maybe my staff and I would discover some unknown brain 'thing' in charge of night time activity which directly impacts the volume of that activity. I'm not sure but maybe we could win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. (Seems highly possible and probable to moi after last week's winner. Plus I could donate my million to charity as well and avoid any angst my husband might have --see my 11.22.08 entry.)
What? You say this is nuts. Really. No, really? I'm merely considering the security of long-term employment. All of the multitude of possible contributing factors ~ wacky and logical alike ~are positively endless. My research could go on and on and on and..... Forever! I'm set!! Won't ever have to worry about economy fluctuations or outsourcing. Maybe the lab would even evolve into a popular TV reality show. Wow. A Nobel Prize AND an Emmy. Could I ask for anything more??!
And I would look very cute and quite official, I might add, in a little white lab coat. So-o-o my color.
After writing yesterday's post I was inspired. I should be filling out the required application paper work right this very minute to receive some of this pot of available money. Why not? Somebody else out there did the submission and consequently received a big, fat check. Maybe I'll just jump on the old lucrative gravy-train.
With my windfall I could outfit a lab to do brain wave testing crossing over every demographic category and testing all sorts of people to trace and audio record brain transmissions as the participants fall asleep. Male. Female. Age. Race. Location of home. Location of job. Color of eyes. Color of hair. Height. Weight. What they ate for dinner. Favorite snack. Coffee or tea. Straight up or decaffeinated. The music they listen to. The movies they watch. Favorite color. Leather watch strap or metal bracelet. Over or under toilet paper. Stilettos or flats. Hershey bars with or without almonds. Maybe my staff and I would discover some unknown brain 'thing' in charge of night time activity which directly impacts the volume of that activity. I'm not sure but maybe we could win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. (Seems highly possible and probable to moi after last week's winner. Plus I could donate my million to charity as well and avoid any angst my husband might have --see my 11.22.08 entry.)
What? You say this is nuts. Really. No, really? I'm merely considering the security of long-term employment. All of the multitude of possible contributing factors ~ wacky and logical alike ~are positively endless. My research could go on and on and on and..... Forever! I'm set!! Won't ever have to worry about economy fluctuations or outsourcing. Maybe the lab would even evolve into a popular TV reality show. Wow. A Nobel Prize AND an Emmy. Could I ask for anything more??!
And I would look very cute and quite official, I might add, in a little white lab coat. So-o-o my color.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Night Sounds
No, I don't mean the comforting tune of the whistle cutting through the thin,crisp fall air from the late night train speeding on the tracks near your home.
No, I don't mean the sound of the tires careening around the corner on a car driven by the neighborhood teenager desperate to get home before his (or her) midnight curfew.
And, no, I don't mean the approaching airplane arching its flight pattern in a path directly over your roof to position itself for its final approach.....and you could swear by the sound barrier being broken that the pilot's true intention is to land his baby on the street in front of your house AND destroy your hearing at the same time.
What I am talking about is when you crawl in bed, turn out the light, nestle down under your covers creating that perfect cocoon you'll inhabit for the next few hours and then... =WHOA= This incredible cacophony explodes in your head. Your eyes fly open. Immediately you realize there's not going to be any rest in your oh-so-cozy little sanctuary of soft sheets and puffy pillows until the brain slows down all the messages that are zipping round and back and forth and in and out between your ears. It's LOUD. Wild. Crazy. Mad-den-ing.
Concentrate the next time this happens to you. Really listen to all the layers of noises. What you do you sense? What can you pick up? Mine are whizzing high-pitched electronic noises like radar or maybe animal communications ( you know ~ like bats send to one another). And then others sound like speeding after-work-drive-time-freeway-car-and-truck traffic. I can distinguish patterns and sequences and rhythms ~ Oh, my!! Can you? Hey~Don't you roll your eyes. (i saw you...) You might as well listen and analyze. You're awake anyway, right?
Best advice for getting to sleep? Become the alpha dog. Be firm. Tell that brain of yours it's time to be quiet and go to bed. (Lean on all those experiences from babysitting, your own kids, your husband/partner, roommate, neighbor.......whatever.) And Remember: You are in charge. As soon as that gray matter knows you are waiting and your patience has a limit the intensity will lessen and the level will drop. Promise.
C'mon now. (nudge, nudge) Just try it. I'm telling you it will work. Betcha ya that quarter (read 10-27-08's entry).
(*** Please leave me a comment below -- I love to hear from all of you!)
No, I don't mean the sound of the tires careening around the corner on a car driven by the neighborhood teenager desperate to get home before his (or her) midnight curfew.
And, no, I don't mean the approaching airplane arching its flight pattern in a path directly over your roof to position itself for its final approach.....and you could swear by the sound barrier being broken that the pilot's true intention is to land his baby on the street in front of your house AND destroy your hearing at the same time.
What I am talking about is when you crawl in bed, turn out the light, nestle down under your covers creating that perfect cocoon you'll inhabit for the next few hours and then... =WHOA= This incredible cacophony explodes in your head. Your eyes fly open. Immediately you realize there's not going to be any rest in your oh-so-cozy little sanctuary of soft sheets and puffy pillows until the brain slows down all the messages that are zipping round and back and forth and in and out between your ears. It's LOUD. Wild. Crazy. Mad-den-ing.
Concentrate the next time this happens to you. Really listen to all the layers of noises. What you do you sense? What can you pick up? Mine are whizzing high-pitched electronic noises like radar or maybe animal communications ( you know ~ like bats send to one another). And then others sound like speeding after-work-drive-time-freeway-car-and-truck traffic. I can distinguish patterns and sequences and rhythms ~ Oh, my!! Can you? Hey~Don't you roll your eyes. (i saw you...) You might as well listen and analyze. You're awake anyway, right?
Best advice for getting to sleep? Become the alpha dog. Be firm. Tell that brain of yours it's time to be quiet and go to bed. (Lean on all those experiences from babysitting, your own kids, your husband/partner, roommate, neighbor.......whatever.) And Remember: You are in charge. As soon as that gray matter knows you are waiting and your patience has a limit the intensity will lessen and the level will drop. Promise.
C'mon now. (nudge, nudge) Just try it. I'm telling you it will work. Betcha ya that quarter (read 10-27-08's entry).
(*** Please leave me a comment below -- I love to hear from all of you!)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
For Goodness Sake: Moisturize!!
I have a darling client who has become a friend. She is vivacious, cute, funny, and straight-out honest. She recently attended a high school class reunion. She stopped in to tell me about it and even brought a few photos.
After she had explained who was who and what all they had done she looked me right in the eye and said "I have one word of advice for you: Moisturize!" My left eyebrow shot up, which it has all of my life when I am reacting to something said or done that is unexpected or doubted or astonishing and I simply looked at her in that "Huh?" kind-of-way.
"I love all these girls to death. We have been so close all these years and we stick together like family. But, my word, we are in our 70's and their skin looks pathetic and dry. Lines are running all over the place so their faces and necks like road maps and all the men kept telling me how wonderful I looked. I just wanted to tell my friends to get a clue." She looked at me in all sincerity like a teacher advising a student. She punctuated her message by punching her finger three times in the air at me. "Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize."
I assured her... geez, I promised her... that I have since I was 14 and that I would never, ever stop. She patted my hand and told me I was indeed a "good girl". I accepted her praise with a big smile knowing I had dodged that bullet....and feeling like I should be rewarded with a good old-fashioned tummy scratching or at the very least have my ears rubbed!
After she had explained who was who and what all they had done she looked me right in the eye and said "I have one word of advice for you: Moisturize!" My left eyebrow shot up, which it has all of my life when I am reacting to something said or done that is unexpected or doubted or astonishing and I simply looked at her in that "Huh?" kind-of-way.
"I love all these girls to death. We have been so close all these years and we stick together like family. But, my word, we are in our 70's and their skin looks pathetic and dry. Lines are running all over the place so their faces and necks like road maps and all the men kept telling me how wonderful I looked. I just wanted to tell my friends to get a clue." She looked at me in all sincerity like a teacher advising a student. She punctuated her message by punching her finger three times in the air at me. "Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize."
I assured her... geez, I promised her... that I have since I was 14 and that I would never, ever stop. She patted my hand and told me I was indeed a "good girl". I accepted her praise with a big smile knowing I had dodged that bullet....and feeling like I should be rewarded with a good old-fashioned tummy scratching or at the very least have my ears rubbed!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Got a Flash!!! (...and I don't mean "Hot")
Creativity. Can happen anytime. Any place. Such as a kitchen counter at 11:32 pm on a Tuesday night. (Hint Hint) And, yes, I have to admit I am feeling a teeny-weeny bit proud of myself at the moment. Plus I can't wait to share it with all of you!
Remember the window treatment tip I gave you (refer back to 4-28-09)?? Well if you loved that one you'll be thrilled about this one!! See what you think: I needed to replace the batteries in a clock. Took it out to the kitchen. Went to the drawer where I keep all the new batteries. Grabbed two AA's and put them on the counter beside the clock. Slid open the bottom panel, removed the dead cells and laid them on the counter as well. I stood looking at the four batteries lying in close proximity to each other ~ all four of which happened to be labeled exactly the same. I would bet that each of us has experienced this quandary at least once....maybe twice truth be told....or even three (confessed totally under extreme conditions of duress, of course)...wondering which was which, the old versus the new.
Lucky for me I did know. Whew. But I decided I didn't want to experience that pang of angst again. ** FLASHING LIGHT BULB IN-THE-BRAIN TIME** (You are gonna love this. You are going to embrace this. Really!! Prepare to be amazed.) This incredible idea spurred me to carry the clock and panel into the bathroom. Selected one of my favorite nail polish shades ~ OPI's You're Such a Kabuki Queen. Very hot. Very pink. Perfect for summer bare-toe days. Oops! Sorry. Back to the subject at hand. (Focus, girl. Focus.) I put a dot of the polish on the two new cells. Voila! Problem solved. I can now just pop these out in the future when they are dead and it won't matter if I drop them in the wastebasket right away before reaching for new ones or if the new and old get mixed up. Any confusion will be eliminated by placing this designation on the fresh ones after installation.
Logical. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Hey! Why don't you try it? Go and mark the batteries in use around you right now with nail polish, spray paint, whatever is permanent and handy. I sure do like 'easy'. Don't you?
Remember the window treatment tip I gave you (refer back to 4-28-09)?? Well if you loved that one you'll be thrilled about this one!! See what you think: I needed to replace the batteries in a clock. Took it out to the kitchen. Went to the drawer where I keep all the new batteries. Grabbed two AA's and put them on the counter beside the clock. Slid open the bottom panel, removed the dead cells and laid them on the counter as well. I stood looking at the four batteries lying in close proximity to each other ~ all four of which happened to be labeled exactly the same. I would bet that each of us has experienced this quandary at least once....maybe twice truth be told....or even three (confessed totally under extreme conditions of duress, of course)...wondering which was which, the old versus the new.
Lucky for me I did know. Whew. But I decided I didn't want to experience that pang of angst again. ** FLASHING LIGHT BULB IN-THE-BRAIN TIME** (You are gonna love this. You are going to embrace this. Really!! Prepare to be amazed.) This incredible idea spurred me to carry the clock and panel into the bathroom. Selected one of my favorite nail polish shades ~ OPI's You're Such a Kabuki Queen. Very hot. Very pink. Perfect for summer bare-toe days. Oops! Sorry. Back to the subject at hand. (Focus, girl. Focus.) I put a dot of the polish on the two new cells. Voila! Problem solved. I can now just pop these out in the future when they are dead and it won't matter if I drop them in the wastebasket right away before reaching for new ones or if the new and old get mixed up. Any confusion will be eliminated by placing this designation on the fresh ones after installation.
Logical. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Hey! Why don't you try it? Go and mark the batteries in use around you right now with nail polish, spray paint, whatever is permanent and handy. I sure do like 'easy'. Don't you?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Fantasies and Window Shopping
How many times have you walked by a shop and stopped because a selection of merchandise caught your eye. Whether it be clothing or shoes or jewelry or artwork or home furnishings doesn't matter. You stop. You take a second look at whatever intrigued you, musing over the color, line, material, whatever. Pretending that price doesn't matter you contemplate its purchase. Sometimes you walk in and examine the item closer. A few times you might even take it home. More often you put it back down on the display deciding that today isn't the day. At times you regret leaving it behind. Others not so much.
Boutiques embody the "love~hate" thing for me. Depending on my mood or location I can find boutiques either intimidating or enticing. They tend to be small in space with clerks who hover. None of the above are condusive to 'invisible' shopping. What I mean is I like to enter a store, acknowledge the salesperson then quietly discover what treasures are to be found by myself. Undisturbed. I expect the prices to be higher as these specialized stores have more overhead than a large chain. Don't mind that. I like the little guy.
Sunday I was in the vicinity of the Pine Tree Barn just south of Wooster, OH (www.pinetreebarn.com). Ever been there? You must go. Sits on State Route 226 amid a few houses and farmland. Started out as an actual barn remodeled to offer country accessories back when that was the trend of the day. They also grew and sold Christmas trees on the surrounding acreage. After several years of morphing I find this place to be extremely exciting - the inventory is endless, the mix sophisticated, the vibe energizing. Every twist, turn and room captivates. On the lower level is a womens clothing and accessory area. Not large but great variety, color and style. My eye was drawn to an unusual top displayed on a three-drawer chest. Never had I seen anything like it. I was pulled over to it by some undeniable gravitational pull. (Go to: www.magicscarf.com) Totally unique this fabric origami is a work of art on two levels. When it is lying flat there is such a incredible sculptural quality to the intricate design that you feel compelled to hang it in a lucite frame as a captivating wall decoration. But when worn the unseen, thus unexpected, second color is exposed which draws the eye in a most dramatic fashion.
Now the surprise. The icing on the cake. $23.95. Let me repeat that: $23.95. I expected a much higher price. Truth be told I was hesitant to check the price tag. I was shocked. Better yet... thrilled! I plucked that gorgeous garment right off the display and walked with firm purpose to the dressing room. Could not believe how delightful the light-as-a-feather fabric felt against my skin. Only one word came to mind: Mine.
Moral of the story? Let your eye discover what it will. Follow that serendipitous path. Treasure may well sit at the end of the trail.
Boutiques embody the "love~hate" thing for me. Depending on my mood or location I can find boutiques either intimidating or enticing. They tend to be small in space with clerks who hover. None of the above are condusive to 'invisible' shopping. What I mean is I like to enter a store, acknowledge the salesperson then quietly discover what treasures are to be found by myself. Undisturbed. I expect the prices to be higher as these specialized stores have more overhead than a large chain. Don't mind that. I like the little guy.
Sunday I was in the vicinity of the Pine Tree Barn just south of Wooster, OH (www.pinetreebarn.com). Ever been there? You must go. Sits on State Route 226 amid a few houses and farmland. Started out as an actual barn remodeled to offer country accessories back when that was the trend of the day. They also grew and sold Christmas trees on the surrounding acreage. After several years of morphing I find this place to be extremely exciting - the inventory is endless, the mix sophisticated, the vibe energizing. Every twist, turn and room captivates. On the lower level is a womens clothing and accessory area. Not large but great variety, color and style. My eye was drawn to an unusual top displayed on a three-drawer chest. Never had I seen anything like it. I was pulled over to it by some undeniable gravitational pull. (Go to: www.magicscarf.com) Totally unique this fabric origami is a work of art on two levels. When it is lying flat there is such a incredible sculptural quality to the intricate design that you feel compelled to hang it in a lucite frame as a captivating wall decoration. But when worn the unseen, thus unexpected, second color is exposed which draws the eye in a most dramatic fashion.
Now the surprise. The icing on the cake. $23.95. Let me repeat that: $23.95. I expected a much higher price. Truth be told I was hesitant to check the price tag. I was shocked. Better yet... thrilled! I plucked that gorgeous garment right off the display and walked with firm purpose to the dressing room. Could not believe how delightful the light-as-a-feather fabric felt against my skin. Only one word came to mind: Mine.
Moral of the story? Let your eye discover what it will. Follow that serendipitous path. Treasure may well sit at the end of the trail.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
"Discontinued"...The Worst News A Woman Could Hear
We all have our favorites. Whether it be foods or beverages or clothing lines or colors. Furniture styles, movie genres, entertainers, sports teams. Sometimes we find them quickly. Sometimes our tastes require time and trials. Choices are extremely personal. Some are forever. Some are not. When we make our decisions, change can be very disturbing. Upsetting. Downright unacceptable.
Monday I was at the grocery store. In our Sunday paper circulars was a coupon for one dollar off any Cover Girl product. Fabulous. Timing couldn't be better. I wanted a back-up tube of lipstick so I added #936 to my shopping list and cut out that coupon. Make-up is not inexpensive and that dollar would be very helpful.
Made my way through the produce section, stopped and selected three birthday cards, grabbed some pop. Pushed the cart down the row of mascaras, powders and eye shadows to my focused destination. Reached out my hand to slip the silver metallic case from the display and noticed the sale tag directly over my favorite color. Woo-Hoo! I silently rejoiced. Mine is on sale. What luck!! Maybe I should grab another. Then I noticed the twelve-letter word on the price tag. Discontinued.
What?? Discontinued!!?!! What do you mean Discontinued??!! You've got to be kidding me. It CANNOT be. It took me 29 years to find this particular shade and you just can't withdraw it from your line. You can't arbitrarily take it from me. I just stared at that stupid little red and white sign. I was so disconcerted that I even leaned down to take a double take and made absolutely sure I hadn't misread it. Sure enough. My fate was sealed. Don't panic I told myself. Don't sweat. Think of your alternatives. The obvious would be to find a new favorite shade of course. But remembering all of the numerous brands and colors I had tried over those years was disheartening and the idea of going through that effort (not to mention the money) to find another one was daunting. So I did the next best thing. The second choice. Sort of a treasure hunt of sorts.
I have gone to four stores as of yesterday and now own seven tubes. I've got a plan. I am building an arsenal of #936's to last me for a while. I called my neighbors and friends asking for their coupons. They gladly handed them over. And in my search I discovered that one chain had discounted this selection by 50% and with that dollar off to boot I am making out like a bandit. I just hope my husband doesn't discover my stash. Don't think he'd understand how dear to a woman's heart her lipstick truly is. Nor my desperation. Nor why one would want to run around "wasting time and gas" to search for for it. And between you and me I'm not through yet. No sirree bob. After I'm done completely scouring the area I will staved off the pain of searching for a new fav for quite some time. Yep. Quite...some...time.
Monday I was at the grocery store. In our Sunday paper circulars was a coupon for one dollar off any Cover Girl product. Fabulous. Timing couldn't be better. I wanted a back-up tube of lipstick so I added #936 to my shopping list and cut out that coupon. Make-up is not inexpensive and that dollar would be very helpful.
Made my way through the produce section, stopped and selected three birthday cards, grabbed some pop. Pushed the cart down the row of mascaras, powders and eye shadows to my focused destination. Reached out my hand to slip the silver metallic case from the display and noticed the sale tag directly over my favorite color. Woo-Hoo! I silently rejoiced. Mine is on sale. What luck!! Maybe I should grab another. Then I noticed the twelve-letter word on the price tag. Discontinued.
What?? Discontinued!!?!! What do you mean Discontinued??!! You've got to be kidding me. It CANNOT be. It took me 29 years to find this particular shade and you just can't withdraw it from your line. You can't arbitrarily take it from me. I just stared at that stupid little red and white sign. I was so disconcerted that I even leaned down to take a double take and made absolutely sure I hadn't misread it. Sure enough. My fate was sealed. Don't panic I told myself. Don't sweat. Think of your alternatives. The obvious would be to find a new favorite shade of course. But remembering all of the numerous brands and colors I had tried over those years was disheartening and the idea of going through that effort (not to mention the money) to find another one was daunting. So I did the next best thing. The second choice. Sort of a treasure hunt of sorts.
I have gone to four stores as of yesterday and now own seven tubes. I've got a plan. I am building an arsenal of #936's to last me for a while. I called my neighbors and friends asking for their coupons. They gladly handed them over. And in my search I discovered that one chain had discounted this selection by 50% and with that dollar off to boot I am making out like a bandit. I just hope my husband doesn't discover my stash. Don't think he'd understand how dear to a woman's heart her lipstick truly is. Nor my desperation. Nor why one would want to run around "wasting time and gas" to search for for it. And between you and me I'm not through yet. No sirree bob. After I'm done completely scouring the area I will staved off the pain of searching for a new fav for quite some time. Yep. Quite...some...time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)