For five years PLUS I've been going thru that fabulous female hormonal change which I fondly nicknamed M-crap with specifications. Such as "I'm SICK of this forgetful crap!!!";  "When is this sweating crap gonna stop???";  "Haven't I dealt with this insomnia crap long enough???".  You get the picture.

Talk about clueless. I didn't have any idea about everything that was going to happen. Like NOW. In my naive little world I thought most of this stuff was supposed to happen later. In my 80's. When I was a great-grandmother. In the home, rocking away and causing trouble. When I was ready. I wanna know where my official training manual was delivered cause I sure never received it. Nor did I get any advice from older females in the family (these ladies are super private about these details). And I wasn't clever enough....nor for that matter curious enough since I assumed I knew it all already....to do any research on my own before this all started.  So I've decided to start my own reference guide, based SOLELY on what has happened to me and experiences yet to come (happy-happy, joy-joy). PLEASE feel free to share my stumblings with your buds. Have a laugh or two (....or three...or...) on me. With me! Walk with me as you travel along your own path. Or look out for what's coming down the pike right at ya, baby! (No, sorry, ducking won't help.)

LESSON #1:  Eyelashes. REALLY?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Mine were falling out in the 'severals'. And since they never were thick and full to begin with, I would stare at the 3's and 4's lying on my finger tips dazed and confused. So. Went into my 'don't-be-part-of-the-problem-be-the-solution' mode (made that one up years ago on the fly during a crisis moment when my child needed quick behavior readjustment --like it?). Started buying different brands of mascara looking for THE ONE which would make what I had left look as fantastic as possible. At $8 and $9 a pop trying the latest (gels, thickeners, lengtheners) & greatest (the classic standbys) can get expensive. Then I got lucky and found my answer: Maybelline's The Falsies Volum' Express (pictured above). Color is Black Drama. Non-waterproof version. Thickens. Doesn't glob. Looks natural. Makes me look like me again! Has a curved brush which I wasn't used to but no biggie. Take your time and build up layers until you're satisfied.  **PLUS Look for coupons in your Sunday paper  usually for $1 off  then keep your peepers open for the stores (CVS, Walgreens, Target, your grocery) discounting this product so you get a double savings**  See what you think and let me know!

Clairol and TRESomme' -- Two New Discoveries to Share

This will be short and sweet! Saw a major coupon from Sally's Beauty Supply (like 50% OFF) in the Fall Preview issue of INSTYLE for a volumizing product line of Clairol's named PROFESSIONAL PRO4PLEX. Grabbed a can of the mousse at the Kingsdale store. Thick, thick, thick so you don't need much. Work it through wet hair then dry. FAN.TAS.TIC. An answer to a prayer for us fine-haired people who are frustrated with straight, flat-against-you-head hair an hour after you styled it. Use this first then.....

Out of desperation before a business trip last month, I found a little spray bottle of TRESemme' Extra Firm Control hair spray amongst the display of TSA approved products in the grocery. CHANGED MY LIFE, PEOPLE!!!! Sprayed on hair after I used my curling iron and still looked great after the day of seminars AND dinner.  Also found that I could spray BEFORE styling providing extra-holding power. With holiday parties coming up or if a wedding or another all-day affair is in your future, I STRONGLY suggest you check these two products out -- keep your sanity and kick those shoes off knowing you'll STILL look gorgeous after hours on the dance floor!

**I re-read what I wrote and this sounds like I am some paid commercial announcement, doesn't it?? WISH THAT WERE TRUE -- LOL. But, alas, not so. Just passing on my own blind good luck!!

The Pain of Finding Lodging in Oxford, Ohio

Situation: Your child is a freshman at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. You receive the info about Fall semester's Family Weekend in early summer. You think. You talk. You decide to go. With all the activities and because your schedule opens up to allow you to take advantage of some time with your special student, you decide to stay over at least Saturday night. Maybe tack on Friday night as well. That way you can shop on High St or run down to Kenwood Mall, maybe shoot out to Hueston Woods, go to the football  game, make that quintessential stop at Walmart, eat at Paesanos or Stella 12 Beech or Mac and Joe's or BW3's or Patterson's AND buy tickets to the headliner billed to appear at Millet. Wonderful plans! Sounds perfect! It's only June and you think you've got a leg up on booking a room. Right?

I, too, thought it was a simple deal to reserve a room. Heck I felt AHEAD of the game by jumping right on that reservation task. Oh, my. What a humbling experience for this first-timer. Not to mention frustrating and depressing. So let me set ya straight, people, with some advice since you're now the newbies at this gig. With just so many rooms available in this little town to hold the hordes of locusts about to descend upon it's brick streets and limited restaurant seating, it ain't gonna be easy. TIP 1: eat early and get a snack later. TIP 2: It's even squeezey when the ice hockey team plays at home.

So listen up. Or read up. Whatever. I made out a large index card of places which I kept (keep) in my desk drawer. These should help you get started. BE ADVISED: Some places (ic The Elms, Best Western, Miami Inn, Maplevale B&B) give preference to those who stay more often at that property for big weekends like this and graduation. Yes, this is one of those times in your life where you'll have to deal with the concept that other people are more special than you. Accept. Move on. OR get feisty and start building up your own history at a place. *Also find out the times and dates when they start accepting reservations. Veterans know which establishments begin at midnight on their appointed dates. Be prepared to dial fast and furious because the competition is fierce with multiple family members using their cells to accomplish this goal. (I told you this was crazy. NOT KIDDING.)

Welcome to MY LIST. Copy. Share. Print flyers and leave on car windows in parking lost. Oops. No, you may not want to advertise this secret fabulous list. Instead stash it under lock-and-key and quietly slip it out under the light of a full moon so no one can steal this invaluable data.

Our favs: Holiday Inn/The Elms   2 restaurants, perfect location for everything Miami   513-524-2002
               Miami Inn   on Patterson betw the business school & baseball field   513-513-529-2104
               Philip W Smith B&B  Richmond, IN  (The Nelsons are great hosts)   800-966-8972
               Martha E Parry B&B Richmond, IN (sister house to above)   same
               Courtyard by Marriott    Hamilton, OH     1-800-MARRIOTT

Others in vicinity:  Marcum Center  (across the street from Miami Inn)   513-529-6911
                           Baymont Inn     College Corner Pike    513-523-2722
                           Comfort Inn      College Corner Pike    513-524-0114
                           Maplevale B&B   Oxford-Millville Rd (Patterson becomes this)   513-523-8909
                           White Garden B&B    Brown Rd     513-524-5827
In Monroe:         Howard Johnson's    New Garver Rd    513-539-9221
                           Best Western Monroe Inn     New Garver Rd    855-238-1589
                           Comfort Inn     Senate Drive   513-539-2660
In Camden:        Sugar Valley Farm B&B    Sugar Valley Rd    937-452-3983
In Eaton:            Whispering Oaks B&B   Rte 127 North   937-456-1121
In Hamilton:       Rossville Inn    B Street   513-590-4181
                           Gregory Creek Inn   Lesourdsville-West Chester Rd   513-887-0725
In Lebanon:        The Kirkwood Inn    Us 42   513-398-7277
                           The (historic) Golden Lamb Inn   South Broadway St   513-932-5062
                            Hatfield Inn   Hatfield Rd   513-932-3193
In Brookville, IN  (~20 minutes away)   The Hermitage B&B   E 8th Street   765-590-5182
**For a fun experience:  Rent a camper or RV from Tom Raper in  Richmond, IN. They will tow/drive your choice over and park it in the football stadium parking lot!  800-727-3778
** Check out  www.bbonline.com for more.

Ode to Dust, My Sworn Enemy

The thin gray layer of particles
    which appears as if by magic,
Makes me want to tear my hair
    and act the heroine quite tragic.

But Lo! I will NEVER concede
    defeat to this vile invader,
I will ever swear my vengence
    and stay strong as a contender.

So FEAR NOT, my house, to you
    I will remain strong, faithful and true,
Unto my last breath, sparring with duster in hand
     vanquishing the foe with the war cry of "Adieu"!*

THE END

( * "Off With Its Head" would have been so much more dramatic but writing the rest of the stanza would take too much time. And I have three more rooms yet to conquer...)

Maundy Thursday -- Thankful Today of ALL Days

Earlier this morning I was asking myself how I would feel if I knew my earthly life was going to end. In just hours. Hanging on a coarse wooden cross at the age of 33, absorbing ALL of the sin of the world so that believers could receive eternal life. Honestly I will admit the 'weight' of that choice felt totally overwhelming to me. Yet Jesus watched as every necessary piece of his last hours played out before him and he never faltered. He knew in his heart beyond the excruciating physical pain yet to come lay His Father's most incredible gift. Life with Him. For us all.

About an hour ago I sent the above to our neighborhood email group. Upon further reflection I want to add this note:

My junior year in high school I was chosen to carry the Christ candle out of our Maundy Thursday service. As the candle slowly moved down the main aisle any and all other lights behind the recession were extinguished. The sanctuary was left in complete and utter darkness. Those in the pews were absolutely silent. Each understood the symbolism of the exit of the Light of the World from the Garden of Gethsemane. The sacrifice about to be made. The ancient prophesy's impending fulfillment.

The following afternoon my French teacher, Mrs. Morgan, was sharing her experience of the service with our class. I'll never forget the question she posed to all her students while looking straight at me: "How can your life NOT be affected by that?"

Thirty-nine years later mine still is.

Bless My Nose

For the last week and a half I've self-imposed a heaping dose of pressure on myself to get STUFF done. A list of things that's been hanging on the fringes for a while. Not ignored. Simply there for the next day. And the next. Working my rear off to make BIG red checks beside completed tasks. That inevitable angst of the time evaporating too quickly this afternoon made me anxious. Walked outside to take a break.

FRESH MOWED GRASS welcomed my arrival to the out-of-doors. Closed my eyes. Deep breath. Another one. This unexpected gift nudged me to a happy place.

I'm a scent-kind-of-girl. Drives my hubby crazy sometimes -- "Don't you smell ----? You don't?! Really??" "This ---- smells just like ---- tastes." "Here. Smell this. Doesn't that remind you of ---?"

The grass evoked a short list of others I like. While standing there on the sidewalk. To help dig me out of my momentary funk. Let's see. New leather purse smell. New car smell. Walk into a florist shop smell. My friend Anita's house when she bakes her INCREDIBLE biscotti smell. Candles labeled 'Rain' smell.

I'm better. Back at my desk. Going at that dang list again. But at least it 'smells' better. Now.

When STYLE Catches Your Breath....

Saw this photo on RL's FB page. LOVE the rich cardinal red shade of her gown. ADORE the wide cuff silvertone bracelet. BLENDING the elegance of smooth flowing satin contrasted against the stiff steely metallic. A. Definite. YES.