Intimidating Cook Top

Yep. I was bullied by the new, shiny, black Kenmore Elite recently installed in our kitchen.

I feel like all of you are members of my support group, currently sitting in metal fold-up chairs arranged in a circle. Ready to say, "Hi, Julie!" when I stand to introduce myself and clap when I publicly state my problem: I am scared of my cook top.

Doomed to fail from the start after reading the direction manual. DO NOT USE ANY PAN THAT DOES NOT FIT PROPERLY IN ONE OF THE CIRCLES ON YOUR COOK TOP. ALL POTS AND PANS MUST SIT ABSOLUTELY FLUSH ON THE SURFACE. MAKE SURE THE HANDLES ARE PROPERLY POSITIONED. CLEANING IS ESSENTIAL AFTER EACH USE. DO NOT DROP ANYTHING ON TO THE SURFACE AS MULTIPLE BREAKS MAY OCCUR."

I felt as if I had been lectured, rather loudly, and promptly smacked on the knuckles with a ruler by the time I had finished the last page.

Took me three days to finally boil a pot of water for my tea.

A Fractured-Kind-Of-Day

Ever have that kind? Where you feel pulled one way then another AND, on top of those, a third? You have all these 'things' you want to get done and just wish you had the time RIGHT NOW to do them once and for all? (the spectres of extreme agitation and overwhelming frustration hover very near....)

My list includes things like weeding out my recipe shelf; going thru the TALL stack of brochures we collected in JANUARY at a vacation and travel show; check out the intriguing websites I've torn out of magazines/hastily scribbled down; write more chapters for my books; actually finish a manuscript and work to get it published; call friends I need to catch up with; spend more quality time with my husband; and my family; clean out my files in the file cabinet. (You get the picture, I know, because you have one, too, don't ya?)

Part of my problem is I need to simply let go of 1/3 of them. They are not as important as I brainwash myself to believe they are. Done. Check

This evening I spent an hour and a half waiting for my car to be serviced. I took some work from my job that I have been carrying back and forth between my desk and home for over a week and got it done. A WEEK. What is my problem?? All finished. Check.

So. My mid-year resolution is to scratch off the unnecessary, the superfluous, the waste-of-timers. Focus my energy on getting a few done well. My hand is now reaching for the ON button of the CD player -- a little relaxation music, please, while I start making a MUCH shorter, fresh list of high priorities. And the first item at the very top of the list? "NO MORE LISTS!!!!!"

Finding YOUR 'Paris'

Yesterday my husband and I saw Midnight in Paris. This is the story of a man valiantly trying to swim against the tide of his everyday existence, a place of personal discontment where his life and choices have led him. Yet there is an innate yearning residing just under his skin which burns in his soul. His whole being comes ALIVE in Paris and he realizes that he has found the city of his dreams. His restless spirit has found its home.

We all seek that specific 'something' that burns perpetually in our own core. Causes stomachs to flutter with anticipation and need. Mine is to write, to share the stories thriving between my ears which no one else can 'hear' right now. I would love to be published --sooner than later if I had my wish! It's the invisible drive that lurks right below my surface. Finding the time not allotted for other responsibilities, duties and drudgeries, where guilt can't sink its talons into me, is what propels me on many a day. I live with a mixture of unadulterated happiness when I do write and anxious desperation when I don't. The imbalance is distracting.....yet challenging.

Thus I have become quite resourceful in hoarding clusters of minutes where I can open my laptop or notebook to extract the conversations and drama, humor and emotions bubbling in my mind -- much like Dumbledore pulling out his thoughts and preserving each in his pensieve.

When my opportunity arrives, I hope all of you are with me to enjoy the ride! And my wish for all of you? Recognize, grasp, follow the path where your heart leads. Be tenacious. BE BOLD. Allow the embers to become a blaze and find your fulfillment. Perhaps Paris will be your destination as well.....

Wickedly Fixated on Eugenia and Beatrice

Oh, my. Still shaking my head. In a matter of seconds these two young women became the laughingstock of this elegant, sophistocated wedding and fodder for an unimaginable amount of worldwide ugly, caustic facebook comments. One would hope someone -- like their father or their cousins or their grandmother or their friends or fashion industry stylist or a designer or a woman known for her fashion sense or the upstairs maid for goodness sake-- would have stepped in voicing an honest opinion and told these two "NO, you cannot wear that!! The designer is lying to you!"

Really?? All who attended were MAIN STAGE entertainment for the entire world and you choose to arrive in some blue, puffy poorly fitted costume (from designer Vivienne Westwood) that looks like an off-the-rack reject and next to you stands your sis who's wearing this thing on her forehead?? Staring at her Philip Teasy design, a myriad of comparisons jumped in my brain: an Egyptian queen headpiece a' la Cleopatra; Diana, roman goddess of the hunt with her signature crescent moon coronet; a laurel wreath and ribbon from some limestone war memorial. I know. I know. I am not being nice at all. But I am being honest. ("...a spaghetti O.."/ "...Sesame Street lesson on the letter O"../"...10 pts if you can throw something thru that hoop"../"...Cinderella's ugly stepsisters.." were a few of the comments I read today. Ouch.)

When they got out of the car I believe I heard a collective viewing audience gasp. I'm guessing budget was not a prohibitive factor for these women and one would think that one would want to be in the 'Fashion Icon' column as opposed to the 'Most Disastrous Fashion Faux Pas'. Seriously, I am hoping they fell in love with these get-ups and simply couldn't help themselves. At least that would be an understandable excuse. We've all bought a piece or two in our lives we look back on later with much chagrin.

Closing on a bright note: I did love Beatrice's Valentino-designed coat and shoes. Very tasteful and such a pretty shade. AND did you notice her new figure? She has done some extremely serious, disciplined weight loss and looked fantastic. Sincere kudos to the princess!

Ode to Sanity

took a shower tonight.

turned the pressure up and

let the spray beat on

my back.

stood still while

the hot water ran over my shoulders

then down to my toes

like a fluid, thermal blanket.

best therapy on the planet

this person could choose.

stayed so long

the hot water tank emptied.

really.

that was a first.

some would say i wasted

money.

others, water.

i say both are wrong.

best shower.

ever.

Virtual Aquarium -- No Fuss, No Mess, No Trouble!

We discovered the greatest computer fix-it guy ever through a friend and co-worker. Jon Roth, FiremanPC, makes house calls in addition to working out of an office. He is SO easy to talk to (hard to find in a geek sometimes), friendly in a down-to earth sweet and genuine way, answers my emails quickly. A true godsend.

When we upgraded the PC recently Jon loaded something we didn't order. A screen saver that is THE COOLEST thing on the planet: a virtual aquarium! My dad had a tank of tropical fish in our house when I was growing up. I remember the water changing/tank cleaning, the fish feeding, leakage, dead fish dredging.....etc etc.... and as an adult I've never been interested in having my own.

BUT what a fantastic surprise this app has been. I love looking at this everyday. The colors, the movement, the sound. Such the perfect alternative for us!! Here are the features:

1. A clear crystal slice nestled in the coral and rocks on the right side. Its face changes showing 4 phases- logo; day/date/time; clock face with current time including second hand; current month's calendar with date circled/digital clock.

2. Rock formation with lush, colorful coral clusters and mosses sprinkled about.

3. Bubbles rise in a constant plume at the back. You can turn up the volume to hear their sound just like a regular pump. (I love this -- makes it all the more 'real'!! I've gotten so used to it that I actually miss that subtle gurgling when it's not running.)

4. A starfish lives in and around the rocks and the aquarium floor. You can see the tentacles move and follow its progress as it travels around the tank.

5. The tropical fish are very colorful and swim at their leisure through the scene. All kinds and sizes. AND the mostest, coolest part is that you control the groups you want to see. You can set it so the same fish live in your tank =or= they can change!! After we use our computer and this screen saver reappears, we have it set so another whole group of fish appear. Keeps it interesting for sure! Their easy-paced gliding, their gracefully flowing fins provide a wonderful stress relieving ambiance.

6. The lighting effects change from sun-up/day to sundown/night. Interesting to watch how this changes the perspective from the viewer's vantage point 'outside' the tank.

We all know that simple things are the best things -- this relaxing, carefree animation is simple and an opportunity to treat yourself in an uncomplicated way. Enjoy!

Dr Ann Ansel, Regular Skin/Mole Checks and One Small Request

My dermatologist, Dr. Ann Ansel, removed 3 moles from my right leg in March, one just above my knee, two on the back of my calf. (I'm a veteran of these procedures -- I stopped counting after number 30. Yep. 30.) The first came off my breastbone area. Went black =snap!!= like that when I was in college. Most were easily shaved off, a few surgically removed and sutured.

Peeling off the BandAid the following morning, I assumed I would see the same old-same old. Wait a minute. I took a double take. Then shock set in: There was a DIVOT, a 1/4 deep hole, in the top of my leg. A true Kodak moment - I froze. In a flash I leaned over to rip the other two bandages off -- two more divots revealed. What the #@*?!

Thoughts started ricocheting off the brain walls -- WHAT??! Why did this happen??! Why didn't Ann tell me I'd see freakin' holes in my leg?!!? Do I have melanoma?? How long will the lab tests take?? What IF I have cancer?? She talked about taking 4 more off!! More divots!! This is going to take weeks to heal!?!

I look like I got shot point-blank with a nail gun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Writing about it now six weeks later: 1) I can report the holes have shrunk to indentations capped with scabs. (I have surprised myself by not picking at them. And I HATE scabs. Nasty, itchy patches. I pick at them. Always have. Somehow convinced myself this time that three ugly scars just weren't worth it.) And 2) The office called with the lab report results : two of the three were funky - oh, man - but Ann removed all three in their entirety so absolutely no problems. Gulp. Thank you, Lord.

Here's my mini lecture delivered straight from the heart: Take the time to observe your moles, discolorations, etc. PLEASE PLEASE never hesitate to pick up the phone and get an appointment if you have any sort/kind/inkling/feeling/question about your skin. Melanomas and basal cells are serious developments that can lead to death. Blunt truth. Don't be stupid or casual or dismissive. End of lecture. Go and check your skin. Yes, that means now!

(Psst!!! Dear God, I am so blessed all is well...but...there's just one little-bitty-tiny-thing --- Possible to do something about that scab thing?? Could we just somehow skip right over that step in the healing process? How about erasing them from the planet for ever and ever and ever? Really appreciate it if you would take take of this. Love, Julie)