Oh, Look! A Duck!!

There is a catalog of baseball caps, T-shirts and sweatshirts (and a few coffee cups and such) called What on Earth. Each piece has a quote or saying or smart remark. Every year I receive one around Christmas and laugh my head off. Not kidding. There is always one or two that I think are priceless.

The last edition showed a sweatshirt with a notation that has become a part of my everyday life. I cut it out of this smallish sized book and have it taped where I can see it everyday at work. My fellow employees now say it as well. It really has quite the universal appeal. In this one sentence my entire existence at this point in my life is succinctly summed up .....And I'm telling you right now I never, NEVER want you to have to go through this so take my advice and simply refuse to let this happen to you. Female or male. It doesn't matter.

The gist of the message is: "Some people say I have ADD Oh look! A duck!" That's it. This one grammatically incorrect sentence has become the mantra in my everyday life. I have become this totally unorganized, unfocused mess. The cause you ask? One word says it all: Menopause. The M word. Because of this hormonal crappy stage in life my brain has turned to mush, sleep eludes me, a lovely rosy blush now beams from my cheeks without the aid of any pinky-toned fluid or powdered cosmetic, a small tabletop fan now graces my work desk, lose my train of thought in the middle of a sentence and I have no short-term memory whatsoever. In short I have become a blubbering idiot.

Case in point: Day off three weeks ago. Got up and started the yard sprinkler. I was in the kitchen doing dishes when I got the hankering for chocolate chip cookies. Pulled out the mixing bowl, gathered the ingredients, added the flour, sugar and margarine to the bowl when I remembered I needed to call for a doctor's appointment. Walked to my bag to retrieve my address book in the spare bedroom. Called two friends. Went to the computer and looked up some info off Google that I needed. Decided to start laundry so took the baskets to the basement and put a load in the washer. Saw a can of pork and beans on the pantry shelf which sparked the concept for the menu for dinner so I carried that and some baking potatoes upstairs, sat them on the counter and pulled ham out of the freezer. Looked at the clock and decided to run my errands to get them out of the way.

Have you figured it out yet? The sprinkler was on for FOUR hours in one spot. Some dishes still sat on the counter unwashed. I never called the doctor. The laundry wasn't ever started and the cookies didn't get baked until almost dinner time.

So listen to me people!!?! When your body clock starts to give you the signs that IT is coming, I want you to refuse to let it happen. Trust me. Your life will be thrown into utter chaos. Take my advice. For the love of God don't let it happen to you!!! Run!!! Run as fast as you can!!!!!! ...AAAAHHHHHHHH!