"Hi. My name is XXX and I don't smoke, hardly drink at all, don't cheat on my husband, never have done drugs. But I need to publicly confess my greatest weakness. You have to help me. What makes me do this? How do I justify this craziness? This obsession?
No, it is not chocolate. Don't blame you for guessing that. It would appear to be the obvious. I guess that is a testament to how well I have hid this addiction for so many years now. This total lack of self control. I can rationalize my action on several levels luckily. Let's see: cheaper than cigarettes or alcohol or drugs; time saver compared to taking the time to find, book and spend money to attend therapy sessions; it keeps people employed. (Bet that last one caught your attention. Read on, curious one, read on.)
Drum Roll Please! (A little drama is always appreciated when a deep, dark secret is about to be revealed. ) I spend an extra three to five minutes in the shower letting the cascading hot water pound a hand-less massage on my neck and back. I am especially fond of partaking in this activity at night. The house is quiet. I turn the bright lights down to a comforting glow. I am relaxed and refreshed and cleansed before I climb into the cool sheets and let the wings of slumber rock me to sleep. (And the 'keep people employed' line above? That's the plumber if I ever need one.)
Not spicy enough for you? Not front-page tabloid fodder? Well wait just a doggone minute here. Maybe this is small potatoes to your way of thinking but it definitely rocks my world. After working all day then grocery shopping before I arrive home to cook dinner followed by cleaning up the kitchen....then doing laundry and ironing....or studying....or having a wonderful conversation with my husband....or watering the grass seed that has been sewn on the perimeter of our lot due to the street construction....or weeding the garden and shooing away the furry little gray squirrel which is coveting my growing red bell peppers....or signing birthday and anniversary cards and writing letters to my friend and relatives who don't have computers I feel positively justified in spoiling myself in such a wonderfully decadent manner.
Now it's your turn. All eyes of the support group are focused on you. What do you mean you don't want to? I shared mine and, yes, I expect you to live up to your part of the bargain. Spill. Hurry up. You can do it. Yes, I'll still be your friend and, no, you can't get out of it. Just share yours by clicking on the word 'Comments' below. Liberation is just a moment away! I am so proud of you!!
3 comments:
well, you're a much better person than i am because i have about a thousand things to confess.
1. i break food into pieces, like, say, cookies, and tell myself that they don't have any calories or fat that way.
2. i eat standing up and tell myself that food doesn't have any calories or fat that way.
3. i break food into pieces, eat them standing up, and give a little one to the dog - and tell myself that not only does food not have any calories or fat that way, the food actually BURNS up fat and calories.
and that's just 3 of about a million.
:)
I always put my desired weight on driver's licenses, rather than my actual. BUT don't ask me to tell you by how much! It's a girl thing ok!! I've had three kids...Don't judge me.
Wow, I've always said that most everyone uses hot water in one form or another to get them up & going in the morning (coffee or tea) but I prefer to have mine poured over my head! (Get it ~ a shower) That's what it takes to get me up in the morning, and I always am thankful for hot water and the invention of the shower!
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